Wednesday 11 February 2015

Watched 50 Shades Of Grey With My Husband

I have never ever watched porn with my husband. We don't need porn to get into it. Joks!

And no, I also don't want porn alone. As a matter of fact, I never got to watch porn until I was 27yo. I was in Amsterdam and my hotel room came with free access so I though what the heck, ma try nga. Hay I was disappointed. There was no storyline. Boy looked at girl. Girl looked at boy. CHORLA na. Ngek ano yun. I called Mico, who was in the next room and asked him ba't ganun. His reply..."Doh, what did you expect?"

That was the first and last time I watched porn. So I was quite curious what it would be like to watch "soft porn" with my husband.


OMG... Jusko! Wa effect! As in wala! The only effect of the movie was that we both felt really sleepy. 

I'm not a movie critic but I have experience in casting actors.  For me the main issue is chemistry.  I couldn't feel the intense attraction between Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan. If you have read the book, there should be have been a cloud of strong sexual tension to the point that either of them could have orgasmed without touching each other. Without words, only acting and chemistry could achieve this objective. Pero wala e, para lang silang actors doing their day jobs.

Jamie Dornan is pogi but he just didn't have that aura of strength and dominance. For me, he's more bagay playing a prince charming or a male lead in a romcom.



Then, there were a lot of blurs which looked like  "black clouds".  In one scene parang Anastasia was mounted by an evil poltergiest from Ghost Buster. In my opinion, the blurs coupled with the corny lines made it comedic. 

The movie also didn't have highs and lows. It seemed flat. My husband who didn't get to read the book found the movie dragging. 

In fairness though, they got it right with Dakota Johnson. She has that good balance of weakness, strength and humor.



Sigh...It is ironic that for something that should've been sexually charged, the movie had no climax.

Needless to say, we both were not aroused. Kwang Kwang Kwang! No chorlabelles tonight.



Disappointed,

L

7 comments:

  1. Hahaha...im happy with the book. Not intrested in seeing 2 blurry people going at it. Yes i agree with the lead guy hes more of the prince charming type. The guy from Divergent may be a.perfect match though

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    1. yeah... it was sayang..weird lang talaga the 2 black clouds going at it. and the lead guy really lacks that...rawr

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  2. Haven't read the book.
    Disappointing ba?

    The guy lead is from Once Upon a Time - he used to be the sheriff there.

    Dapat daw si Ian Somerhalder.. But for me pwede si Matt Bomer !! Hihih...

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    1. He looks very nice but may kulang lang

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    2. Now that I've read the book and seen the trailers, mukhang bagay naman BUT tama ka. kulang ata sa *power* si Jamie Dornan.

      He has a super mega thick accent - parang sa trailers - bulol siya!!??

      Dakota Johnson pala is the daughter of Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson! hahaha.. Classics!! At least she looks innocently dishelevd.. Hindi kayaga ni Sarah Geronimo sa mga movies niya with JLC na fake na fake and buhok na wig!!!

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  3. I'm watching this with Paul on..... Valentine's Day! hahaha

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    1. As in valentines day Talaga ha. Parang college Lang di ba

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