Day 119: Am I really ON PAUSE?

When I started this blog, the intent is to put my life ON PAUSE while I prepare for my wedding and my marriage..

In the last 119 days, I have traveled, gone home, made all the necessary arrangements for the wedding, started yoga, fixed our new home, reconnected with old friends and made new friends and more importantly I readied myself for my new role.

We started going to church every Sunday. PRAISE GOD that He touched the heart of S to join me! We joined the BEFORE and AFTER I DO workshop and never missed a SATURDATE in CCF. I also started to read the blog of Joy Tanchi- Mendoza, www.teachwithjoy.com , so that I may learn how to live in and impart grace.

Truth be told, I don't feel my life is at pause at all. In fact, I feel these past few months were busy months for my MAKE OVER.  

And it's hard. It's hard to remove that armor that I have slowly clothed myself with.

I went through that moment of high from my freedom, depression, fear and now I have hit reality with both sadness and enthusiasm. 

Sadness and Enthusiasm= CRAZY.

I find myself that I am still that IRON LADY. S told me I really have a tone that sets him off.  S said, our home can't be my new office and he is not my new team mate. He emphasized that he is my new CEO.

And with that ladies,I can unabashedly say that my future husband has balls and he knows how to put me in my place.

This is really my coaching style. I push and challenge my people and wait for them to tell, "Boss, I have this under control. I'll take care of this."

That's the sweetest line I can ever hear. I believe weapons are built with fire.

Unfortunately in marriage, it's different. Without professionalism as my shield, I can't seem to always ignore my pride. It's hard to put all the things I have learned from church in practice because my pride levels are higher than my patience.  I also have balls and I badly need to be neutered. 

Awareness is a good start though.

I have girls telling me that their current relationships are perfect and they don't need to attend any marriage workshop. Good for them. I acknowledge with humility that I need to be fixed in this aspect.

And with just one month til my wedding, I ask myself...  "Do I now end this blog because I am not on pause anymore?" Infact, it seems that I never hit pause.

In hindsight, I realize that I baptized my blog with the wrong name. The name implies that work is my life and outside work,  I'm in limbo.

hmmm....

Am I Still on Pause?

L

Day 107: Budgeting Guide for The Newly Married Couple

I'll make this a short post because I have a yoga class tomorrow morning.


Assumptions:
 50,000 nett income house hold
Only 2 people living in the house


Steps

1. Open 2 Accounts and NEVER mix
   A. Expense
   B. Savings



2. Upon receiving salary, deposit 20% to savings (ex: 50,000 salary=10,000 savings)
Note: If 2 people are working, make sure that EACH SPOUSE  deposits to the 2 accounts



3. Make Budget Expense Projection. Ideally constant from January-November.
December, by all means, go wild.

• Rent/Amortization- MUST NOT EXCEED 30% of Income
• Utilities
• Groceries
• Gas/Transpo
• Weekend Gimmicks
• Church Donations/Tithes/Charity 
• FAMILY OBLIGATION---- PLEASE INCLUDE IN MONTHLY EXPENSE                    
• (tip if you want you can open another account just for this. you can deposit even if they don't ask. Atleast when they do ask, and trust me, they will, you have something ready)

4. Set Aside a FUN FUND for the spouse not working/ Or a COMMON FUND if both are working


Example: 

Salary	50000
Savings	10000
Rent/Amortization	15000
Utilities	2,000
Groceries	7,000
Gas/Transpo	3,000
Weekends	4,000
Church/Donations	5,000
Family Obligation	2,000
Fun Fund	2,000

Comments:

1. Yes, you can have 2,000 pesos in utilities both elec and water, provided that you only have 2-3 hrs of aircon a night.

2. And yes 1,000 per weekend is possible. One Movie Night, 500 pesos and 1 Dinner for 2

3.  BEST TO LOWER RENT, ideally down to 20%


Now, I'm thinking...Imagine a 5 Pax HH with kids going to school and needing tuition and allowance.


So, are you ready to get married?

Still on Pause,

L

Day 104: Money in Marriage

Yesterday, S and I went to our second SATURDATES at CCF. One of our favorite couple, Edric and Joy Mendoza, talked about my favorite topic-FINANCES.

Edric is one of the anchors of ON THE MONEY, a show that aims to teach Filipinos how to better manage their finances.

In a country where money talk seems to be a cultural taboo, I believe this show is badly needed. I have seen too many friends who worked  abroad and were unable to save because they send all their money back home. They invested in their siblings and relatives in the hopes that in the future their generosity will be rewarded.

Unfortunately, people are risky investments. 

Last night my friend, Eleanor, told my mom that her inlaws are treating her badly because they felt that she took away their "breadwinner". She kept quiet for a long time but when she had a baby, it was as if her maternal instinct took over and she became braver.

Money is one of the sources of conflict between couples. Most couples are uncomfortable discussing it during the dating stage. Given issues such as the one experienced by Eleanor, Edric encouraged us to discuss the ff questions: