Day 111: Surrendering My Isaac

Today, the pastor gave a sermon that moved me to tears.

It has been quite a difficult week for me as I battled with my emotions: excitement, fear, sadness and extreme nostalgia. I had this brilliant idea to do our own "growing up" video for the wedding because I had the story in my mind and the skill to execute it.

Well, it turned out to be a very bad idea.

In fact I nearly fell into depression as I was reminded of my once amazing and busy life.  I've travelled. I've had my own home. I've had freedom. I asked myself, "So, now what? What else do I have to look forward to?"

My friends told me to look forward to building a family with S but my demons told me to not get my hopes up because I may not have kids. Then I reminded myself that I have always just wanted to grow old with S but my demons won't shut up. They asked me, "What if you outlive S?"

Such evil thoughts...

Oh it was just horrible, I tell you!  I'm sure you must think I'm a psycho who can hear demons. Demons make themselves felt through our fears.

It is so hard to give up the FANTASTIC NOW in favor of the UNCERTAIN FUTURE.

(more to this story)

Potions: Confession

After eating 2 cups of rice and a bowl of patatim, I need to ingest fiber to cleanse my guilt and my guts

Today's concoctions is called "Confession"

Confession Recipe

1 apple

2 slices of pineapple

1/2 carrot 

2 tbsp honey 

1/4 cup water 

Still on Pause,

L

Day 29: Clean Start

 I'm back!!! 

And to commentate my new life and to detox from all the wine I've been drinking in Europe,I got me a new blender!!!

My new blender comes with 

.Detachable blade unit for easy cleaning
.2 beakers with lid
.1 juice container

.Recipe book 

I got so excited that I went shopping for fruits right away! 

And I've been blending all sort of concoctions.

RECIPE 1: Good Morning Sunshine

1/4 cup YOUGURT

1 Banana

1/2 carrot

1 teaspoon honey

Yum!!!

Still on Pause,

L