Friday, 30 January 2015

My Husband Loves Me Because....

He loves me because I cook good food.
He loves me because I love cleaning the house (except I also love stuffing stuff into cabinets).
He loves me because I am thrifty. In fact, I am quite good in budgeting.
He loves me because I am quite an entertainer. WHOLESOME ha!
Best of all, he loves me because I bake. Masterbaking is fun.

Here's the recipe of the Brown Sugar Pound Cake I baked yesterday.

Preparing Ingredients first.

1 cup                    Unsalted Butter
1/2 cup                 Margarine
2 1/4 cups            Brown Sugar
1/2 cup                 Sugar
5 pcs                    Eggs
3 cups                 All Purpose Flour
1/2 teaspoon       Baking Powder
1 cup                   Milk
2tablespoon         Vanilla Extract

optional 1 cup of Pecans/Almonds or kahit kasuy nalang.


1. Cream Butter
2. Gradually Add Brown Sugar
3. Gradually Add While Sugar
4. Add Eggs
5. Shift Flour with Baking Powder
6. Add Sifted Flour Gradually
7. Add Vanilla
8. Add Nuts
9. Bake at 170c for 60 mins.
   If cupcakes... 35-40 mins only

Perfect with coffee.

Lastly, my husband loves me because I tell him to. Takot lang nya. Suntokin ko balls nya if anggal. PAK!




Wednesday, 28 January 2015

Cheating Husbands

Last night, I was so affected when my friend sent me screen grabs of her husband's sms.  Reading the words of a husband who left his wife for another woman... made me so angry that I just cried.

"Move on. I'm happy now."
"Wag mo na akong pilitin. Leave me alone."
"I don't want you anymore."
"Have a life!"
"I'm happy. Let me be."

How do you think should a wife with a small kid react? Aber...

The husband had the affair while they were married. She begged. She begged the mistress to stay away.

If my friend was single, of course I'd tell her to move on etc etc.  But being married with a kid, is a different story.

Honestly...I don't understand how a man can say "I love you" you one minute and the next minute beg you to  give him back his happiness.

Please help me understand why husbands cheat even if they have no money.

Are they selfish?
Are their penises that huge? Do they  genuinely feel that they are doing the world a favor by showing it to every woman they like?
Is it because of their childhood?
Are they mentally ill?
Fetishes, perhaps?

Help me understand.

The night ended with my friend consoling me instead. When I woke up the next day, I saw the calligraphy of Cher and it just hits to close to home.

If this was what the husband was thinking, I strongly believe he shouldn't be excused for succumbing to his temptations.

Marriage is a legal and binding contract.

I also like stuff in the mall but I don't go around stealing those because the law tells me I can't.
There are people I want to strangle but I can't because that is called "assault" and I can go to jail for it.

Same goes for cheating, just because you feel you are not happy, it's not a good reason to have an affair and make a baby with your mistress.



Tuesday, 27 January 2015


Here's the answer of my GBF to the question I asked him over IMessage.
I copy pasted his response.

You are just choosy.
And it's an effort for you to manage initial impressions.
So it's stressful for you to meet new people.
Even in the company, you curate your friends
And you want a safe environment to continue your assholery
And to celebrate it.

So, in essence, my GBF (Gay Bestfriend) acknowledges that I'm an asshole but still loves me. We have been friends for over 10 years. I love that when I bitch at him, he calls me out and bitch back. He doesn't need to talk behind my back because he can say it in mahhh face.

I'm his FAG HAG and he is my GBF.

For real though, it's so hard to be sweet, nice, prim and proper. Just so hard! I feel very drained and tired after my "performance."

So when I behave, let's all just pretend that  I'm an introvert.

FAMAS Nominee,

L' Charot

Thursday, 22 January 2015

The Girl In The Painting

I don't know if you have noticed that I have never mentioned my full name or posted a picture of myself in this blog. This space is just so PUBLIC!

I don't have the words to describe my face but I believe that this painting looks exactly like me.

Believe it or not, when the artist painted this, we have not met yet.  " I knew I loved you before I met you", ang peg!!!

Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Winter Wedding

I'll let you in on a secret...

I have never seen or touch SNOW! Real Snow!


Yes, I do travel frequently but I have always made sure that I skip winter.  True, hotel rates are usually cheaper during this season and lines to tourist attractions are shorter. However, traveling during winter means bulky luggages and shorter time for picture taking!

When you live in the tropics like me, the idea of WINTER is just so exciting and so magical.

In fact, if you decide to have a WINTER-THEMED WEDDING, you'll be doing your guests a favor. Chances are, many of them have not seen snow too!

A lovely bride in my hometown did exactly this!  The theme of her wedding was the NUTCRACKER CHRISTMAS. Kristine Tiu and her groom, Alvin Fong,  transformed the ballroom into a winter wonderland.

Saturday, 17 January 2015

The Best Way To End A Relationship

What is the best way to end a relationship?

In the words of my best friend MICO, "THERE IS NONE. All break ups are painful regardless of how you end it."

When my ex dumped me, he just sent me an email.  Just 2 sentences for the 6 years we were together. It was painful when I read the "telegram". I swear I had a nervous attack! It was quick but not pain-free. Death by Guillotine.  But despite months of crying and agony, you can see that I am happy now.

When my friend and her fiancé broke off their engagement because the guy realized that he was not ready, they remained friends for a couple of months. Then eventually resentment crept it. After a few more months, anger and pain joined the party. It took longer for her to heal but my friend is very happy now.

Another friend, got pregnant by a married man. His wife caught them. He disappeared and she never heard from him again. Imagine what it must have be pregnant, abandoned and alone. Then last December, she gave birth and when she saw her son...she felt pure and sheer happiness. 

Recently, a man lost his wife because she died of cancer. No fights. They were happy. But things ended nevertheless.  Now he is grieving, but I am sure he will be happy again in God's perfect time.

A couple of nights ago, my cousin told me that her husband's affair got even more serious. They were together for more than 10 years and they have a baby girl.  The marriage is now over. My cousin has to deal with the hardships of being a single mom. Separations are messy. You can't just cut ties. You have to constantly deal with each other and talk about visitation rights and support. It's tough now but soon she will be happy too.

There is no right way to break-up. There is no perfect script that contains guarantee pain-free words. Closure will not necessarily make it easier. 

I once thought I needed closure. I demanded for one. All movies have endings why then can't I have one for that chapter of my life? 

Mico said, "Your life is not a movie. If he talks to you and explain why he decided to break-up with you, chances are - you won't listen. You will just beg him to change his mind. It's over, L. Move on. With or without closure, MOVE ON".

Some of my girlfriends told me to pray and ask God that he would love me again. Others told me to write him letters. Two told me to just give up all control to God. One told me this...

GET UP. GET DRESSED. SHOW UP. TOMORROW, REPEAT. Soon, you'll be fine again.

I moved on by simply waking up, getting up, getting dressed and showing up to work or to a get-together. By the 3rd month, it felt  just like a normal routine.

And my prayers were pretty simple. I just said, "Lord, I'm sure You have a plan, give me patience and strength to wait it out."

I wrote this post because I am affected with what is happening to my cousin. I wish her husband didn't do this to her. I feel the pain that he is putting her through. I have so many questions. 

Why is he so selfish?
Why did he cheat even if they already have a daughter?
Doesn't he care for them at all?
Is 10 years nothing for him? 
How can he just leave her for another woman?

Then as I hear myself vent, I  realize that there is no right way for relationships to end anyway. 

But there is a right way of dealing with a break up. It's nothing revolutionary. You don't need to go to India, Bali and  Italy and have an EAT PRAY LOVE moment. It's pretty simple, slow but effective.

In the words of Aswaina Seroja...

" Get up, Get Dressed, Show up, Repeat Tomorrow."



painting by Ruth Batke

Tuesday, 13 January 2015

How To Show Love...The Filipino-Chinese Way

I have come to learn that in a Fil-Chi family, it is quite rare to receive a card from your parents and in-laws with a note saying, "I Love You".

My dad is an exception. I remember that every Valentine's Day, he would go to my school, interrupt my class and give me a bouquet of flowers and chocolates. I used to get really embarrassed with all the attention. Looking back, I was the luckiest girl in the entire school.

My mom...well, she's hardcore. She shows her love through service, specifically washing my laundry. I still bring my clothes to Iloilo for her to wash. I do this to give her the opportunity to show her love. NYAHAHA.

I don't ever recall my mom making me a card. BUT! She has a wall filled with all the cards that I wrote her since I learned how to write.

Honestly, it's very awkward for me to show my love to my in-laws. I don't think I am at that stage, where I could hug them tight and write them "I love you" on post-it notes. Cut me some slack! I've only been married 6 months! It still feels weird. I also don't see S doing this.

Instead, I show my love by sending them food and by simply being around even if I don't understand half the things they say.

I notice that my MIL also does the same thing. She shows her care through food.  She sends me my supply of probiotics,  fresh veggies and raw meats, and other chinese delicatessens. I also know that she loves me because she is very much concerned with my health.

Last Christmas, my in-laws give me a generous angpao. I guess for Chinese Families, angpaos are the standard gifts.

My mom...she gave me tubs of paksiw and chicken alexander all the way from Iloilo. No Christmas cards with "I love you" notes.

Chinese parents also show their love by "PROVIDING".  They pay for our education and it doesn't stop there. In most cases, they also pay for our weddings. They help us start our married lives by helping out as we build our homes. For the lucky ones, they buy the couple their first home!

Time is also a valued commodity. When Chinese parents make time to attend an event, this is precious time away from the business. This is time that they could have used to earn money but instead they chose to spend it on you. When they attend events in the evening, this is time that they could've used to rest but instead they chose to share your joy.

I remember that my mom really made time to tutor me even if on one occasion we wanted to stab each other with pencils. My mom went to all my school activities. I recall that I didn't want to invite her because I was worried that I would waste her time if I don't win.  This is how Chinese moms show their love. They make time for you.

So now, I am married to a Fil-Chi man and I am recalibrating my Love Language. He shows his love through time + effort + gifts.

When my husband takes time off from work so that he can drive me to the doctor, I realize that this is love. When he gives me diamond earrings, even if I don't need one, this is love. I should not force S to act like cassanova. Clearly this is hopeless.

I don't intent to generalize or make a stereotype, but I'm learning that...

Fil-Chis (atleast, those I know), show their love through FOOD, MONEY (or anything valuable), TIME and EFFORT (or service).

Physical or Verbal forms of affection are quite rare. Don't force them to give it. It is not their way. Although... Mark said that this could change due to to globalization and social media. Let's see.

On this note I should stop pestering S to do DIY cards or to send me a message in a bottle.

Feeling Loved,


Monday, 12 January 2015

Allergic Rhinitis

So here I am drinking ginger tea. I realize life is so hard without my antihistamines (allergy meds).

My allergy attacks have made me weak these past few days. I haven't been able to go to the office. I couldn't do yoga.

I wonder if it has always been like this and I just didn't notice because I was so dependent on my nasal sprays and chlorpenamine maleate. 

Now I try to avoid wine and pills because we are trying to get pregnant. I went to an obgyn/ obstetrician. She told me it's okay to drink wine and take meds until I miss my period. But I figured, I better get used to no meds now. if I delay it, it can make my pregnancy unbearable.

I'm starting to feel some relied after finishing a glass of my ginger tea. My husband has also placed vaporizer on top of my desk. I'll go back to work in a bit.



Thursday, 8 January 2015


Drat! I'm sick.

Last night, it felt like there was an alien doing gymnastics in my head. 

My nose is stuffy if not runny.

What the?!!!



Monday, 5 January 2015

Make God Laugh: My 2015 Plans

A wise man once told me, "The best way to make God laugh is to plan." 

He told me this because I have Type-A personality sprinkled with OCD.  To paint you a picture,  I used to make timetables to ensure that my weekends were optimized. I made sure that every hour of my day was accounted for. I was incapable of doing anything that wasn't in my schedule. And if my scheduled got messed up, it was the end of my world. If I was not productive, I felt bad about myself.

Then in 2011, I planned for one epic party.  Imagine white sand, mojitos, teal and coral,  and Cafe del Mar tracks. And just when everything finally got booked and paid for, I received an email that changed my life.

From that moment onwards, I stopped planning. Anything beyond 6 months is a blur. My Tinghun took 3 months to plan and wedding only 5 months.  And guess what? They were all beautiful events nonetheless. I wish you got to attend my wedding. It was one hellava partey!

Nowadays, I don't plan with so much details although occasionally I go back to old habits. I do, however,  set goals and I dream.

I dream a lot.

2014 was my year of pause, hence the name of this blog. I declare that 2015 is my year to learn. God, I have learned everything in 2011 please don't give me hard life lessons in 2015!

I suggest you start 2015 with 1 broad goal. Once you have that already, break it down to objectives.


Goal: Learn atleast 3 Life and/or Livelihood Skills  by the end of Q4 2015

- To Learn a new Language
- To Learn how to Sell

That's it!  See how different it is from a typical New Year's resolution? At this stage, you don't need to go into specifics yet. When the right time comes, the opportunity will present itself.

On that note, I'll start doodling on my new planner!