I am writing this post because my sister-in-law just got engaged!!!!! Hey hey hey!
S is very excited! He's asking way too many questions. I constantly remind him to chill.
IDEALLY, the Ting Hun should be last time that the mother has a say on the marriage of her son.
Brides, you must understand that this period of preparation is a bonding moment between your future MIL and your future husband. As much as possible, don't meddle.
THIS IS YOUR MOTHER- IN- LAW'S SHOW.
With out any sugar coating, the Ting Hun is a showcase of wealth. It is meant to show the bride's family and friends that she is welcomed by her future in laws. It is a promise that she will be well taken cared of by her new family.
If both couples are working and providing for themselves, no need for this. In the olden times, this was needed because girls were married off to guys recommended by the match makers. Usually, these guys lived in other towns. Assurances were necessary.
It seems that, in the eyes of the bride (and her parents)...the jewelries from the groom's family signify the her worth to them. After listening to several brides and wives, I finally understood why.
I was told that one mom cried when she saw her daughters bling.
Groom and family... please note that most often than not, the family and relatives of the bride do talk about the jewelries you will give.
I was told by Mr. Q ( a businessman from Iloilo) that the family of so and so gave the family of so and so bride, fake jewels! They rusted! QUE HORROR! Needless to say, the whole town of ILOILO knows!
I also know of a bride who was planning to display fake jewelries just to shut her momma up!
Hay no need!
Ting Hun is a gesture of welcome and assurances. No need to show off if you don't have much budget or if you are already very assured! It is perfectly acceptable in this century to have a western engagement.
That being said, here are the things the groom and his family need to prepare:
1. One (1) Golden Medallion
The bigger and the HEAVIER the better! May powers daw if malaki e! Will protect you from bullets! Hahahaha!
2. One (1) Watch
Standard watch given is a Rolex.
The hip ones give Jaeger, Tudor, Chopard, IWC, Panerai...
If mayaman ka, Patek.
3. Two (2) golden bangles tied together with red thread
4. Minimum of four (4) jewelry sets.
Ideally with the following precious stones/gems:
Note: In HK, they prefer pure gold since the value of gold is easily valuated. In the future, should you need to sell, gold is easier to liquidate.
5. Minimum of eight (8)sets of clothes or 8 sets of cloths/ fabric which will also be made into clothes.
Note: In the olden days, the bride and her relatives would make these fabrics into her new wardrobe (including shoes!) While sewing, they would sing, talk and even cry. This would be the last time that they would be together so it was quite a sad moment.
6. Two (2) pomelos
7. Two (2) bouquets of flowers
Note: 8 dozens of flowers per bouquet
8. Two (2) Ang Pao
Note: minimum of 20k for small angpao and 60k for big angpao
No odd numbers
As a sign of good manners, the bride-to-be should return the bigger amount or both
9. Fabric for the parents of the bride
Note: Fabric for suit/barong of the father of the bride and for the gown of her mother
10. One (1) Smaller round cake for the bride-to-be
11. Red cloth for the table
Note: This will also be used to make the dress of the first born.
In our case, the restaurant provided this.
12. Ingredients for the misua soup (Misua, 2 eggs, 2 Ang Cho)
Note: The restaurants will also provide this.
13. Two (2) SIN HA filled with fruits
Note: This is optional. Some people rent the Sin Ha pero honestly, this is for "aesthetics only".
The family of the bride will still need to sort out the fruits and distribute to the rest of the relatives.
In our case because my family flew in and out right after the event (like a band on a gig).
To free them from hassle, the family of my husband packed the fruits in such a way that they were ready for check-in and already sorted them out in the gift packs for the guests.
14. Gift packs for all the guests (1 pack for each family).
Gift packs should contain the following:
- Fruit Cocktail
- Pork Leg
Note: EVEN numbers
15. Wedding Rings
Yes! This is already given and EXCHANGED during the Ting Hun. So yes, I had no say in choosing my wedding band. But the standard 5 diamonds is very much appreciated! Salamat po!
16. Corsage or Buttonier
17. THE BANQUET.
Who pays for the banquet?
This is debatable. In some cases, the family of the bride offers. This makes sense because traditionally, the Ting Hun happened in the village and house of the bride's family.
In my case, my family didn't know much and infact, my mom didn't understand that was discussed anything during the Kiu Hun. So, my in- laws took care of everything.
No Complaints! Ganda di ba! charrrr
For Brides-to-be click this LINK to know what you need to prepare. Don't worry, you don't need to do much at this point.
PS> list given by S. He complained that my cake wasn't smaller than his.
In the absence of intonations, facial expressions and hand gestures, we rely on words, punctuation marks and emoticons when we comment in social media.
By putting yourself "out there", you essentially open the doors to haters and other people who may not love you as much as you love yourself.
Trust me, I get that.
But under normal circumstances, we try our best to be amiable and pleasant on the different social media platforms when we are "engaging" with our online friends.
Ofcourse, it depends on your dynamics. There are friends who engage with each other through "OKRAYS". ( What's the English of OKRAY? The closest I can think of is mean girl humor.)
However, you need to have the intuition to know if a person will be receptive to this type of engagement.
May mga babaeng bakels talaga na ayaw if sobra kang bait or formal. Pero, kahit sa group na to, hindi pwedeng jokjoks if hindi pa close.
That being said, I find that there are some people who are just very casual with the way they throw their unsolicited comment. No assessment of the person and their relationship with the person who will be receiving it.
THE WEDDING SHOES
I posted a picture of my dream shoes in my private Livejournal account.
I shared the Louboutins I have dreamt and saved up for the longest time.
G Comments: Ouch, those look painful...
****If I were to comment on someone else's dream wedding shoes:
Option A: Silence
Option B: Beautiful
Option C: Beautiful! But do bring a spare comfy pair just incase your feet hurt.
Bekimon: Ang gondahhh teh, pero baon kang tsinelas! Taas ng heels eh abot na si lord
THE WEDDING SEMINAR
I posted about attending a CCF facilitated "Before I Do" workshop. I humbly shared about how S and I fought and how the seminar explained why we act the way we do and how we should improve.
G comments: I'm glad fiancé and I don't fight.
****If I were to comment on someone's sharing about their learnings:
Option A: Silence
Option B: We live, we learn.
Option C: Please pray, that if in the future we go through a rough patch, we would know what to do.
Bekimon: Gorabelles! Push mo yan!
I posted a picture of a mermaid toy I saw at Hamleys at the Fort with this caption, "I want one! Sadly, we have no bathtub"
G comments: We do!!! 😂😂😂 ( emoticon of a teary eye, laughing)
****If I were to comment on someone not having what I have...
Option A: Silence
Option B: Buy and just bring when you go to a hotel.
Option C: This looks great! I'll get one for my tub ( if you really want to announce that you have a tub)
Bekimon: Love ko yang mga sirena na yan!
Ang babaw diba? Pero nakakainis talaga! Well, ganun Talaga! Good thing, we can edit our online. friends with just one click.
I just don't understand why some people could appear so... (fill in the blanks________) online.
Callous daw sabi ni S.
Do you have people like these in your social media circle? How do you react?
When I was still a useful and earning citizen, I used to travel every month for work. I gave a very literal meaning to the phrase "living out of my suitcase."
I flew so often that I actually thought my ex and I were okay. In hindsight,we were okay because we only saw each other for a few weeks each month.
Anyway, I digress!!!
Before the 2008 recession, my colleagues and I flew business class for all flights that took 4 hrs and above. And for someone like me, who came from a small town, flying business onboard the Airbus A380 made me feel I have made it in life! For real! Yeah! I also felt the same way about Starbucks then. Hahaha! Ang babao pero totoo!
(Note: I will copy my entry in Livejournal about my SQ Airbus A-380 Business Class Experience and post it here. Gone are those days...)
Flying economy isn't so bad either. Actually, I flew economy most of the time because my usual business route was SG-MLA.
C'mon!! Look at the beverage menu for economy!
The SQ flight attendants are always very polite and friendly. I have yet to meet a cranky SINGAPORE GIRL.
Needless to say, after many flights, I fell inlove with Singapore Airlines. I can't memorize my own landline number but I know my Kris Flyer ID by heart.
Sadly, I have stopped traveling since I moved back to the Philippines and more so after I retired and became a housewife. When my status expired, I seriously felt bad. It didn't help that all my brother said to console me was .."It's the end of an era. You had fun."
I miss Singapore Airlines very much
For my honeymoon, I decided to use my last remaining award miles. Given that I was technically flying for free, my options for flying dates were limited. Initially, I was supposed to leave earlier than my husband and stay in Singapore for 3 days...longest layover ever.
When we viewed our seats online, S and I were seated far away from each other because we booked separately. Every seat was taken!
So, I called SQ to ask if they could sit us beside each other for the longer leg of the trip, because it is our honeymoon. I shared with the customer service rep, Felicia, why I had no choice but to fly ahead of my husband. I told her that after 3 days of being away from from each other, I wish to sit beside him.
Sappy!!! Hormones lang po.
OMG! The next day, a lady named IVY called me and told me that she could move my first flight and she would sit me beside my husband. I was so happy!!!
Then, Felicia called me again and told me if I wanted Honeymoon Cake! I was totally floored. I mean where else can you get a service like this!
Our flight was delayed but the Singapore Airlines crew treated us like hotel guests while we were waiting for clearance to take off.
What a great way to start our long over due honeymoon.
P.S. I just realized now that I used to be really agitated/stressed during my many flights. Now that I'm flying with someone, I am enjoying being in long haul flights. There is really a huge difference between business and pleasure trips, noh?
Drat!!! I accidentally deleted the post about the locksmith wiz,who helped S get back inside the house!
Anyway, a couple of days ago, S got locked out of the house while he was watering his plants. Incidentally, he is allergic to plants.
Well, what do you do when you or your husband gets locked out of your own house? Panic?
Nah, I was too sleepy to panic! It was already 11:30 in the evening.
I called the maintenance crew. They tried to pick the lock but they weren't successful. They suggested that they'd get S out through scaffolding but the idea sounded really dangerous. Parang action star lang e noh.
I told them to find other ways that don't require "stunt man" skills.