In real life, I have very few friends. My life is very simple and uneventful.
Sometimes, I envy people who frequently post pictures of themselves attending parties and get-togethers. I say to myself, "Wow, they are so lucky they have such exciting lives."
Then, I remind myself that this is my choice to keep life simple. I have eliminated people who I believe are vexation to my spirit. I'd rather be alone that have friends like that.
There was once a girl who, when I posted a picture of my dream wedding shoes, posted a comment in my journal. Her comment was this...
" Ouch! Those look painful".
I found that comment quite hurtful because I saved up for those Louboutin Pumps. I restrained my inner demons from responding.
Another time, I shared about a wedding seminar that S and I attended. I shared about how the seminar helped us understand why we fight and helped us understand how to resolve the fights. The same girl made this comment...
"I'm glad my fiancé and I don't fight."
I was really put off. There I was humbly sharing the flaws of my relationships and she had the audacity to rub in my face that hers was bright and dandy.
If you know me in real life, you know how mean I can be. My tongue is sharp and my punches are strong. If I choose not to respond, it's because I don't want you to cry.
As a marketer, I am trained to read between the lines, to know your fears and insecurities and to see what's behind the facade.
What's behind my facade?
I am a recovering bitch. I am working on being nice. I am trying to keep life simple. I am trying to appreciate what I have. In short, I am trying to change. And if you are in my way, I will drop you in a heartbeat.
I believe there are just people who bring out the worst in me. It could be someone who makes bratty comments or just someone who posts endless selfies.
I hate selfies.
I want to punch girls who pout their lips and take narcissistic images of themselves. SERIOUSLY! I try to avoid these people.
I remember that there was a time that I just couldn't stop myself. So, when my friend posted a selfie with a totally unrelated caption (some stupid quote), I couldn't stop myself and I made this comment...
"Love yourself much?"
Yes...I am that mean. That's why I'm changing.
So now, I have few friends. And these friends help me in my journey to be a better person.
These are people who have accepted me in their homes, dined in mine and have met my parents.
These are people who, I can run to when I'm sad. I go to them when I'm scared. With them, I can take off my shields and be weak. I know they won't judge.
Sadly, many of them are not in Manila. I'm thankful that the internet has made them accessible.
So, how few exactly are my friends?
I think I only have around....5. Just 5. I have met many people but I realize only 5 can genuinely be there for me.
How about you? How many real friends do you have?
Here are some guide questions...
1. You are stranded along Edsa, who will you call?
2. You need to go to the obgyn, who will you ask to accompany you?
3. You have to go to the emergency room at 10 pm at night, who will go to you?
4. You are depressed at 2 AM, who will you send a message to?
5. You are out of the country and your parents encountered something bad, who will you ask to go there and check?
Lastly.... Who among your friends now, will you be there for all the 5 questions I asked.
Once you have the answers....well, GO LET THEM KNOW. TELL THEM THAT YOU ARE THANKFUL TO HAVE THEM IN YOUR LIFE.