Baby Making is like executing the Expecto Patronum Spell

Patronus Charm:

This ancient and mysterious charm conjures a magical guardian, a projection of all your most positive feelings. The Patronus Charm is difficult, and many witches and wizards are unable to produce a full, corporeal Patronus, a guardian which generally takes the shape of the animal with whom they share the deepest affinity. You may suspect, but you will never truly know what form your Patronus will take until you succeed in conjuring it." 

-Miranda Gosha 

Harry: "And how do you conjure it?"

Remus: "With an incantation, which will work only if you are concentrating, with all your might, on a single, very happy memory."

I'm starting to feel Baby Making feels exactly like this.  You are scared and pressured  but you obviously need to have very happy and positive thoughts to do "chorlabelles".

Strangely, I have always enjoyed the process until I read about fertility. Now, all I feel is pressure and not the good kind. And pressure affects you physiologically ha.

In the words of my dear friend, Shiao, "There's nothing much you can do about fear.  Ask yourself, what will happen if you are scared? Can you fix the situation? If the answer is nothing good...think of something good."

I realized God is making me wait because truth be told I have always been vocal about not being ready. I always think and talk about my fears of getting fat or about my fears of 9 months of discomfort. I also worry about certain conditions which I have read about online.

God is making me wait. HE is making it a little harder for me so that when I do conceive, I will just be so happy that I won't even have space in my heart to worry.

As for my husband, I told him that God is teaching him patience. He is a very punctual and hardworking man. He sighs deeply and very loudly when I am late...even if it's for lunch...like now.

I told my husband that God is teaching us to find our happiness in HIM and in each other.

I'm very happy that it's just me and my husband. But sometimes, I wonder if my husband feels the same way. He has always been more nurturing than me.

Truth be told, we haven't been trying that long.... but after hearing and reading many stories, I'm starting to realize that it may not be that instantaneous as I assumed it would be. On average, it takes a normal couple will take 1-2 years to get pregnant. 

Wow... 

If you have a baby, it is really a gift from God. Now, I understand why mothers feel so depressed when they have a miscarriage.

On a happier note, we are planning for our honeymoon, which is really long overdue. I delayed it on purpose. I was spreading our happy milestones so that I can stretch the wedding bliss period. Yes, this is based on the theories of behaviorial economics.

I'm off to lunch! After lunch, I will practice the Expecto Patronum Spell!

Never Doubtful,

L