Over lunch, someone from my husband's family told me that I should always be happy and smile because I am pregnant. If I worry too much or get angry then it may affect the little human growing inside me.
She makes a good point. It's very rational. Stress has a physical effect. I'm sure she means very well.
There are also quite a few people who tell me, DON'T WORRY and DON'T THINK TOO MUCH. These are 2 sentiments you really shouldn't tell someone with OCD. We also don't want to think or worry. Trust me.
However, even if I feel that these people's intentions are good, I believe one CAN NOT simply tell a person to BE HAPPY without doing anything to cheer him up. And you can't tell a person to stop worrying without giving him assurances.
The mind doesn't work like that.
It's the same principle as telling someone to "MOVE ON" from a bad relationship. You don't know what that person is going through. If you want them to move on,you better direct them towards a process (ex: introducing them to a shrink, a support group or a church community) or you can offer a distraction ( ex: a rebound,a new hobby or just take them out)
I never demand from my husband to STOP BEING ANGRY. If he is mad, I order McDonalds or I tell him to go down and get himself a cup of coffee from Starbucks.
That's why I love my husband so much. He gets me. A couple of nights ago, I was so tired from traffic. I went to the grocery to clear my head. When I arrived home, he turned on the Christmas lights. He knew it would cheer me up.
Simple gestures can go a long way.
So instead of telling me to BE HAPPY AND SMILE A LOT, this person should've given me something that will make me smile. I'm quite easy to please. I like cookies, cards, flowers and anything colorful and thoughtful.
People need to be more prudent when they give advice.
When you give an advice, be prepared to accompany your words with some actions. If you are not willing to invest effort, then keep your words to yourself.
What do you think?
Excited for the weekend,