Tuesday, 19 January 2016

Thoughts On Giving Birth

And just like that, I am on my 25th week of pregnancy.

Time went by so quickly. I spent nearly all my first trimester feeling petrified if this pregnancy will push through. By the 12th-13th week, I anxiously waited for the Nuchal Scan.

I only started telling my family and friends around the 15th or 16th week.

Then the holidays came and before I knew it, I am about to enter my last trimester. The Last 3 Months Until My Life Changes Forever.

Yesterday, my husband's app alerted me that I am on my 25th week. I panicked.

My husband is very prepared. He has been looking for pedias and having meetings with the people of CordLife.

I, on the other hand, have done nothing except sleep.

 I'm really scared.

It occurred to me that maybe I am not ready to be a mother and to be responsible for another human. I never had cold feet during my wedding but I am having one now.

So, I made a list of the things that are within my control.

1. Make a Birth Plan
2. Make a list of items I need for delivery
3. Make a list of items for the newborn
4. Start thinking of a name
5. Sign all these papers from CordLife
6. Set an appointment with the Pedia options
7.  Buy a new and more efficient vacuum cleaner
8. Fix the kitchen cabinets to make space for all the stuff the little human will need.
9. Look for Breastfeeding classes
10. Schedule a last vacation...within the Philippines only.

I'm really overwhelmed. I just have this feeling that life as I know it...will never be the same. I hope it will be all good.

New Mom Fears,



  1. Where does cordlife store the cord blood ? Curious lang.

    1. merong 2 options: PH and SG. Pinili ng husband ko PH (like his other friends) para andyan lang if kailangan. baka ma mis handle daw if malayo pa

    2. Tama!

      I asked because my bro-in-law (husband's ahya) had his daughter's cord blood sent out to HK (don't know what company) and when it got there, it turned out that it wasn't viable so was discarded.

      Hindi ko alam why it wasn't viable - don't know if it's due to collection issues or transport issues or something else. Pero diba nakakahinayang ?

    3. yes super sayang. actually may refund naman yan. pero alam mo un, hindi naman yan laging available lang anytime

  2. Awwww I wanna hug you! Virtual hugs :) You will be fine, just have faith in Him. Natawa lang ako sa vacuum cleaner parang lost siya sa list hehehe :)

    1. eh the current vacuum from bosch na 13K, jusko walang mahigop! double work ako. I can't afford to waste time sweeping and vacuuming pag may anak na. I also fixed the storage. nasa improve efficiency stage muna ako.

    2. Since you're looking at getting a new vacuum cleaner, look for one that is quiet so you can use it while baby is sleeping or maski gising si baby, hindi siya magugulat.

    3. That's a good point. Sa inlaws muna ako kasi I have ge lai for 1 month. Mga after 6 months pa ako uuwi.

  3. My wife is a a vid reader and follower of your blog and she showed me this specific entry because it's what she's going through right now. I always tell her that I envy her to be to have the privilege of creating and be able to carry life inside her. This is Botha. Gift and a privilege that she should be thankful for. If only men had the chance to carry something wonderful inside them, I would grab that chance in a heartbeat. Wishing you a safe and blessed pregnancy. Congratulations to your family.

    1. Tell your wife I said Hi and Apir!

      I married a very good man who also thinks pregnancy is the most amazing thing. He envies that I can feel a little human inside my body. He even instructed me to write a blog describing it so that other men can feel the movement through my words. Sadly, I can't find the right words both in Ilonggo and English. My husband goes through empathy pains and cravings too.

      But one thing he can't understand is sudden eruption of panic and agitation over my situation.

      Once in a while your wife will get pissed at the smallest of issues. Don't take it personally. It's a sign of panic. The last time I got upset was over the delay of storage shelves. But the root of it all is I was panicking that I have no space for the stuff of my little human.

      A little understanding before and after pregnancy is very important.

      Make her pregnancy happy. My husband will take me to a nice nail salon later.

  4. I too had the same fears when I had my first child. I also snapped at my husband. I was lucky that my husband was understanding. But after I gave birth and everything was settled, I realized that my fears were unfounded. I had a good support system; from my husband to his family (I had a falling out wit my family and didn't really speak to them).

    Fast forward 3 years when we were trying to have another baby and was told that I could no longer have one due to a cyst in my ovaries, I realized and regretted all the tantrums I threw at my husband. He was pretty much at my beck and call for the entire 9 months; he didn't complain at all and took my lashing out in stride. I blamed him for everything and anything even if it had nothing to do with the pregnancy.

    Some women may say that all these emotions are due to hormonal changes. But sometimes I feel that we as women use it as a convenient excuse to explain our mood swings whenever we get our monthly period or in this case, getting pregnant.

    Looking back, if I could have another chance to get pregnant again, I will be more careful with my emotions and the words I say. I should always remember that it's not only me going through this pregnancy, but also my partner. And just like me, he has his own fears as well, which I have to allow him to express as well.

    Lots of love.

    1. I'm trying to mentally condition myself to have fun. I'm quite good in tricking myself.
      My normal reaction to being overwhelmed is to panic and occasionally to blame. So I'm sure it's not my hormones...it's just me being lost.

      We are so lucky to have good husbands. I feel I won the lottery with this one. I think if married own myself, I would've given up.

      My husband said..."I can't be scared because I'm so busy trying to assure you everything will be alright".

      I really felt the sincerity when he said that.

      I'm glad you echoed his sentiments.

  5. You are very fortunate to have a husband who is supportive and can afford to take care of both of you and your baby. When you have a family, you want to be able to give the best to him and you'll walk to the ends of the world to do so. I try as much as I can to do everything but since I'm a single parent, it's not all the time I can do that and be there for my kids. I sometimes hate my situation and feel guilty when I can't be there for children recitals because of work. I'm envious of my friends whose husbands are there to nag them for checkups, medicines and whatnot. But alas is my situation so I just try to make the best of it. Appreciate what and who you have. Because you don't know when life will out a not-so-cute rabbit out of its hat.

    1. I thank God for giving me a good husband. He is my good karma. Your kids are very lucky to have a hard working mom like you