Tuesday, 12 January 2016

Know Your North Star

When I have fears or problems, I very rarely open up to others. I don't just randomly viber or chat with my friends to rant.

That's because I feel it's not fair for others to absorb my negativity. I have friends who seem to find it perfectly okay to message me in the middle of the night to vent or to cry to me. While I listen, I won't deny that I feel really bad after listening to them.

Both positive and negative feelings are energies. In accordance with the law of Physics, Energy can neither be created nor detroyed. 

So I am glad that I have found a safe space here in the internet where I can anonymously share my emotions,both good and bad, and readers can choose which message they want to "absorb". 

When I touch an emotion and relate to someone I haven't met before, it brings me comfort that somewhere out there, someone hears.

When I receive a life story from people I haven't met, I am amazed how our lives are so different and yet we share so many similarities in the way we feel and relate to one another.  

I learn so many things from the few people who try to get intouch with me through this journal. Even if I don't know you, personally, your words comfort and teach me life lessons. 

I wish to share a story I received from an anonymous reader. She shared a sad story that I could relate to. While my experience is not as deep as hers,  I understand the feeling for being torn between work and family. 

Here's her story...

Our fears show us that we are human and we know what is right from wrong. Fears and temptations are tests that God sets forth to to see if we will deviate from the path that we are supposed to take.

I'm based in the US; Years ago just like you, I was a career woman. I had a high-paying job, flying in and out of town almost every week. I thought I could do it all; be a mom, a wife, a daughter, a career woman. My husband quit his job to stay home with our daughter, who was 2 then.

I thought I had it all, until I lost it all. I lost my husband in a car accident while bringing our kid to school. To make matters worse, I was out of the country when all of this happened.

I couldn't come back to the US to attend to everything and be with my daughter because I had work. My boss told me either I stay or I quit. I chose to stay. To this day I regret my choice.

Since then I've quit my work and now have a lighter job, that allows me to be there for my daughter.

It's been 4 years. My daughter and I are ok and have somehow moved on, but I feel up to this day, I don't think she has really forgiven me. She still asks where was I when the accident happened. She still misses her dad. I miss my husband.

I feel your fears. I lived your fears. I had all your fears. But believe me when I say that it will all get better. Don't let what happened to me happen to you. I had to lose something great in order to find myself.

Know your true north and keep your compass pointed towards it. No matter what fears, temptations (to return to what is comfortable and familiar) come your way, as long as you have your compass right, you won't get lost.

It won't be easy... But it will all be worth it.

Thank you for your blog and this entry. It has reminded me of so many things. Wishing you all the happiness and blessings in the world. 

Whoever you are, thank you. Your story moved me to tears.



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