Day 129: An Amazing Day

My day started with a JIVAKMUKTI class at dawn! hahahah! 7 am.

Then,  my best friend and his family arrived from Australia. We went to Sari for M's fitting and it all went well.

Then we had lunch and cupcakes. Round about 6 pm, we attended the Lenox Launch in Rustan. Sand I were both invited by the head of Rustan's home. I invited M to join me because S had to be somewhere else. 

And guess what?! For the first time in my life I won something! I won a set of very expensive china.S took it home with him because I had another party to attend. I have yet to open my prize!

After my party, M and Dave took me to the launch of a new Megawork property. I spent most of my time making paper boats with Eli while the couple talked with their agent.

I think I had too many glasses of champagnes and Shiraz .... 

It was  just a wonderful day. I also got an SMS from my old boss inviting me for champagne on the 9th! Of July!

Praise God

Still on Pause,

L

Day 128: HAIR COMBING

There is a Chinese Tradition called Hair Combing.

On the night before the wedding or the dawn of the wedding, the bride bathes in pomelo infused water and puts on her new undergarment, new pajamas, new slippers and sits before a lit dragon and phoenix or sang hee candles

Her dad will comb her hair and her mother and relatives will recite the auspicious chant. In some Chinese countries, the combing is done by what they call a "good luck woman". 

Finally, I completed all the things I need for my hair combing ceremony. But I needed to make certain modifications since some items are not readily available here. 

My bridesmaid , Alvee, got our Lao Gong ( Granpa) and Lao Po (Grand Ma) slippers in Singapore and will bring it with her when she arrives a couple of days before my wedding.

Those are alvee's feet. Hahaha

Here's my complete set. The items below are actually part of my KE TSENG or my dowry.

I have there my new pajamas, my combs, my mirror, my candles, my ruler and scissors. 

S and I even have a new set of rinsing mug and toothbrush!

The ruler is one of the modified elements.  The ruler represents GOOD JUDGEMENT. There is actually a Chinese version which is not available here... So I just have to make do with an ordinary red ruler with a sang hee sticker.

Also, we couldn't find the Dragon and Phoenix Pajama set, even in Singapore, so I just got a red one from SM.

Everything that I will use during the ceremony needs to be new. This is symbolic of the start of my new life. Syempre may new SOEN panties and New Marks and Spencer Bra din.

Since my mom can't speak Chinese, I got her the English translation of the chant. 

I wonder if there are any Pinoy wedding eve traditions too...

Still on Pause,

L

ZzzQuil

Last night, my brother and I tried ZzzQuil. He took half and I took the recommended dose.

I had the worst insomnia attacks when I was growing up. Before an exam, I swear I could see equations the moment I close my eyes. It was horrible.

It also didn't help that we had stupid roosters in our house in Iloilo. The stupid roosters would start crowing at 3 am!!!

I have tried praying, crying, counting sheeps, you name it. The worst attack I had was in UP diliman during the night before my calculus exams. I literally watched the sun rose before my very eyes.

As a former insomniac, I've tried several over the counter sleeping aids so I wanted to see the effect of this new potion I saw in S&R. I am planning to sedate myself on the night before my wedding...I really want to sleep and I'm pretty sure I will not be able too.

There are sleeping aids that hit you first on the parietal lobe. The effect makes your head almost fall back. There are those that hit your cheeks first to the point that you feel like falling flat on your face. Then there are heavy ones that hit you on the legs first and you almost can't walk.

The effect of Zzzquil started on my cheeks. I felt that I wanted to bury my face in my pillow. However, the bad thing with sleeping aids is...while you may be physically feel sleepy,  your thoughts could still be run riot. This is the agonizing part: your strong consciousness battling your physical weakness.

This went on for a good hour before I finally succumbed to sleep.

I slept for a good 11 hrs and woke up very groggy. I could barely open my eyes.

Still on Pause,

L

Day 126: S&R is like Disneyland!

In my head, I've always imagined that housewives have so much fun doing groceries in price clubs,  baking cookies, taking their kids to soccer practice, jogging in the neighborhood, hosting dinner parties etc.

I got all these ideas from watching DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. TV and Movies are valid sources of information for the delusional.

So one  of the perks of being S' (future) wife is an S&R membership. Yes! Mababaw lang po ang kaligayahan ko. Wala naman akong need na mag join ng country club. 

The first time I went there was last December with Chef Jo.  We went on a wednesday afternoon. As we watched the housewives and their yayabelles shop, we couldn't help but wish that sana we there buying our own household groceries too. Unfortunately, we were there to get ingredients for the sales conference. 

Finally, I came back to apply for my own membership.

I love the place! The assortment is crazy! It's like Disneyland I tell you! There are promos and tasting left and right. And the prices!!! They are cheaper compared to my neighborhood grocery store, Rustans.

The meats, veggies, sauces and cheeses made me  feel so excited  that I will start cooking again very soon.  Although I'm dreading to use our new electric stove and oven because those consume power like slurpees.

And you know what's the best stuff inside S&R???

SLEEPING POTIONS!

Just what I badly need to cope  with such a disappointing day courtesy of our Third Party HR. I was suppose to get my retirement and final pay cheques but they spelled my name wrong! Hay nako.

Still on Pause,

L 

I'm not smarter than a 1st Grader

When I went to my MIL's office, she was talking to the daughter of one of the tenants.

This 7 year old girl can speak fluent fookien and even mandarin.

Wow! I'm impressed ( and honestly, I was quite envious) that she could converse with my MIL with such command of the language.

Oh, she's from China but still, it's amazing!

I feel the same way when I hear kids in Paris speaking fluent French.

Hahaha!

Day 125: Ting Hun Lauriat

Truth be told, S and I never got to enjoy our Ting Hun Lauriat in Century Hotel because we were busy having our photos taken and entertaining all our well wishers.


Despite the fact that S chose Century because they are famous for their CHINESE FOOD, the most amazing meal we had that day was from Tapa King, which we had later that evening.

Today, we had lunch together with family of S and some his parents' friends. Apparently they paid for an extra table for  the Ting Hun Banquet just incase more guests showed up. 

So, 6 months later I finally got to see and taste our Ting Hun Lauriat.  

Since I'm not a food blogger, I will only share the picture of the dishes and I won't even bother to describe them at all. Boooooo!

Eh I don't know how to blog about food e!  That and I'm too lazy to write today.

I recommend you visit Tsinoyfoodies.com for  more credible food reviews.

Anyway, our 12 course lauriat or "pan-to"  started with...

1. Hot appetizer

2. Prawn Salad

And progressed to...

The Annunaki and the Creation of Men

Last April, my cousin told me about this theory he stumbled upon. He read about the Annunaki and their role in the creation of men.

I was hooked and intrigued because of its high degree of possibility.  Then I told my brother and my brother responded by explaining to me the theory of relativity. My brother is a "Trekkie" (Star Trek Fanatic). If you are a trekkie, the concept of time travel, genetic modification and aliens are matters of fact and not fiction.

He later made me watch several episodes of COSMOS and I swear I felt a bit smarter right about the 5th episode. By the 9th episode I decided to get the first book of Zecharia Sitchen.

So theory goes like this:

Day 122: My Gua Ma's Legacy

Thank you mama for giving me survival genes!

You give a new meaning to  the phrase "May Pinagmanahan".

I come from a family of "well- endowed" women.  This is my gua ma's legacy, her fantabulous boobies.

And so, today, I went to do my nearly final fitting with my coutourier and he posted my dress and my cleavage on his FB wall.

I saw a comment that cracked me up. It says...

Day 121: Sniff sniff

Boohoo! S gave me the flu! F

Finally after 5 days, my immune system gave in and welcomed the virus into my system.

It also didn't help that I have been feeding the evils with my body with sugar, which is of course their favorite.

Usually I shed off a few lbs. when I have the flu but not this time. I've been craving (hence eating) chips the whole day.

Still on Pause,

L

Day 120: I Hate Chatarungas

If there is one thing I love about being "ON PAUSE", it's the opportunity to do yoga at 9 in the morning.  In the past, 9 am was the time my outlook greets me with sh*tloads of emails. Nowadays, I just greet the sun.

I love yoga but I have this feeling that it really hates me. The hardest part is going into chatarunga  repeatedly.

The correct charunga pose is elbow above wrist. Easy to say, easy to write but it's so hard to do. 

Last week, I felt really crappy because the yogi in one of the hip ashrams repeatedly told me "Elbows above wrist" in a rather frustrated tone.  It's not that I don't understand what it means but without a mirror, I really couldn't see what I was doing wrong.

But since I'm a firm believer that "Weapons are built through fire", I'm sure his strictness was necessary. What I did not achieve in mental zen, I did receive in psychical pain. Which is good because pain the validation that an exercise is effective. 

I'm pretty sure I looked like this most of the time...

Day 119: Am I really ON PAUSE?

When I started this blog, the intent is to put my life ON PAUSE while I prepare for my wedding and my marriage..

In the last 119 days, I have traveled, gone home, made all the necessary arrangements for the wedding, started yoga, fixed our new home, reconnected with old friends and made new friends and more importantly I readied myself for my new role.

We started going to church every Sunday. PRAISE GOD that He touched the heart of S to join me! We joined the BEFORE and AFTER I DO workshop and never missed a SATURDATE in CCF. I also started to read the blog of Joy Tanchi- Mendoza, www.teachwithjoy.com , so that I may learn how to live in and impart grace.

Truth be told, I don't feel my life is at pause at all. In fact, I feel these past few months were busy months for my MAKE OVER.  

And it's hard. It's hard to remove that armor that I have slowly clothed myself with.

I went through that moment of high from my freedom, depression, fear and now I have hit reality with both sadness and enthusiasm. 

Sadness and Enthusiasm= CRAZY.

I find myself that I am still that IRON LADY. S told me I really have a tone that sets him off.  S said, our home can't be my new office and he is not my new team mate. He emphasized that he is my new CEO.

And with that ladies,I can unabashedly say that my future husband has balls and he knows how to put me in my place.

This is really my coaching style. I push and challenge my people and wait for them to tell, "Boss, I have this under control. I'll take care of this."

That's the sweetest line I can ever hear. I believe weapons are built with fire.

Unfortunately in marriage, it's different. Without professionalism as my shield, I can't seem to always ignore my pride. It's hard to put all the things I have learned from church in practice because my pride levels are higher than my patience.  I also have balls and I badly need to be neutered. 

Awareness is a good start though.

I have girls telling me that their current relationships are perfect and they don't need to attend any marriage workshop. Good for them. I acknowledge with humility that I need to be fixed in this aspect.

And with just one month til my wedding, I ask myself...  "Do I now end this blog because I am not on pause anymore?" Infact, it seems that I never hit pause.

In hindsight, I realize that I baptized my blog with the wrong name. The name implies that work is my life and outside work,  I'm in limbo.

hmmm....

Am I Still on Pause?

L

Day 115: He Spends, I Save

If there's one thing I am thankful for is that I have a husband (to-be) who is willing to spend on me.

He is just like my dad. He is very generous in giving me clothes, bags, food and even medicine to the point that I sometimes feel like a charity case.  Minsan tuloy feeling ko para akong taong grasa na pinulot lang sa kalye!

I, on the other hand, am very KURIPOT. Sabi ng nanay ko baka daw effect yan na struggling ang business ni papa nung buntis sya sa akin.  His business wasn't doing too well when my mom was preggers with me.
















It also doesn't help that I worked in marketing in an FMCG company for 10 years. That has made me skeptical about brands.  Do you know that companies selling liquid soaps can earn a minimum of 60% in profit per bottle! Imagine if you buy luxury brands. I read somewhere that LV bags can earn up to 800% in profit!

The problem is when S shows me love by spending on me, he expects that I will show him love in the same way. And so he feels bad when I only buy him generic medicines even if my cousin, who is a pharmacist, explained to him that there is  no difference in formulation and efficacy.

Except for my periods of insanity, I rarely buy expensive items on impulse. When I see something I like, I ask myself the following questions: (I think you should do this too!)

Day 114: How Kitchen 1B Handled Customer Feedback

I've been having brunch at Kitchen 1B almost every week. It's really a nice and cozy place.

Read about my first visit by clicking on this link!

It reminds me of the breakfast places I used to go to when I was still living in Singapore. Since I am a creature of habit, I always order the same thing: Bacon and Eggs + Coffee. 

Today, I noticed that within a month, the price increased by 30% A couple of weeks before that another item also had a price increase. And we are not talking about a few pesos here.

I was shocked! It seems that the prices in this restaurant vary nearly every week!


So, I talked to the waitress and told her that this is very unusual. The owner overheard and approached me.

Day 113: NEW PLATES, NEW LIFE

The dining set for the new couple is provided by the side of the bride. This represents the welcoming of new members into their new family.

I was worried that if I only get two sets, it may signify that I don't want children. And I can't get four because, in Chinese, 4 is bad luck. It sounds similar to death.

So we got 8 sets of bowls and chopsticks, which I'm sure we will only use during birthdays. 

Notice that each bowl and each pair of chopsticks has a sanghee sticker.,,

Ofcourse, since we are like most Filipinos, we actually eat on plates and we use spoons and forks.

My western dining set is only for 6 pax. Most sets are good for 4 people. Since I  didn't want to get 8 sets of the same design,  we just got a classic style for 2.

 S got the gorgeous WMF cutlery from Singapore during the Great Singapore Sale. Super Bargain!

And syempre, may sticker din! Pero S said wag na sticker bawat kutchara at tinidor. OA na raw.

I love my Tiffany blue plates! Pretty noh? Though, I'm still praying for real bone china dining set.

Like this Wedgwood Butterfly Bloom Collection...

Day 112: The Chinese Mother-in-Law

Ahhhh yes....the usual villian in most Chinese dramas, the formidable Chinese Mother-in-Law.

In most Chinese literature, she is usually the cause of the young bride's misery. She throws in nasty criticisms on just about everything from her cooking to her parenting style.

The mother-in-law, popo in mandarin, is usually tough and controlling. Due to traditional family relationships and due to the fact that she is the current matriarch of ther household, she holds higher authority over everyone and of course, over her daughter-in-law.

In most traditional chinese families, the bride moves in with the groom and his family. This is especially true if he is the eldest and/or the only son.

I have heard many horror stories of the  mother-in law (MIL) reprimanding her daughter-in-law(DIL) and meddling with the way she is raising her children. The most common though revolves around her criticism that her DIL, at least based on  her own opinion,  seems incompetent in taking good care of her beloved son. 

My mom is very much familiar with these horror stories. So she told me, "L, I know you are very outspoken, very opinionated and very brave...But please I beg you don't make a rebuttal when certain points of improvements are pointed out to you by your in-laws. Just nod and say, yes. Never disagree openly. Tell your husband so that he may relay it to his family."

I replied..."Ma, I don't understand half of the things they say. So, don't worry. In fact, I do say yes even when the question demands for a different answer. Yes na lang ako ng Yes."

Given the anticipated difficulty, the KE TSENG list includes a pair of shoes and stockings for the mother-in-law. This is very symbolic. This is a sign of respect. This represents a peace offering before war even starts.

This is the traditional style:




This is what I got my future mother-in-law:

Day 111: Surrendering My Isaac

Today, the pastor gave a sermon that moved me to tears.

It has been quite a difficult week for me as I battled with my emotions: excitement, fear, sadness and extreme nostalgia. I had this brilliant idea to do our own "growing up" video for the wedding because I had the story in my mind and the skill to execute it.

Well, it turned out to be a very bad idea.

In fact I nearly fell into depression as I was reminded of my once amazing and busy life.  I've travelled. I've had my own home. I've had freedom. I asked myself, "So, now what? What else do I have to look forward to?"

My friends told me to look forward to building a family with S but my demons told me to not get my hopes up because I may not have kids. Then I reminded myself that I have always just wanted to grow old with S but my demons won't shut up. They asked me, "What if you outlive S?"

Such evil thoughts...

Oh it was just horrible, I tell you!  I'm sure you must think I'm a psycho who can hear demons. Demons make themselves felt through our fears.

It is so hard to give up the FANTASTIC NOW in favor of the UNCERTAIN FUTURE.

(more to this story)

Love The One You Are With (not the people in facebook and instagram)

Social Media makes Anti-social people.

So my mom was telling us the story of how her dad, our guakong, left China and eventually lost touch with his family.

He came back to China again when he was 90 years old and told us that if he could find even just one relative, he would stay there.

He didn't find anyone.

Imagine if Facebook existed then. I'm sure my guakong would have gotten his chance to reconnect with his family when the revolution ended. That being said, Facebook definitely changed the world and I am forever grateful to Mark Zuckerberg.

However, with smart phones and androids, it seems that more people prefer to be tapping away than enjoying the company of the ones they are with.

Last week, I had some people over. It was quite annoying that even if I made such an effort to entertain, they were still on their phones.  Trust me when I say, I'm very good in entertaining.

They were tapping away while we were waiting for our food, snapping photos when the food arrived. I'm sure you can imagine what I mean.

News flash: Waiting for the food is part of the experience. In fact if you enjoy the pleasure of your date, you add more courses.  The waiting time in between courses is an opportunity to spend time with that person.

I told S, next time I am on my ipad, he should remind me to put it down. Sometimes, I may not be aware of it.

It is important that when you are out with someone, put your phones away. Look at the person straight in the eyes and listen intently, especially if  that person asked you out.

You need not talk. You can listen. You can nod or shake your head, laugh, sigh or whatever.

Seriously,  learn to enjoy and love the company of the person you are PHYSICALLY with. If you are on your phone, talking to other people--- it's really insulting. It's as if, you'd rather talk to that person rather than the one infront of you.

Still on Pause,

L

Day 107: Budgeting Guide for The Newly Married Couple

I'll make this a short post because I have a yoga class tomorrow morning.


Assumptions:
 50,000 nett income house hold
Only 2 people living in the house


Steps

1. Open 2 Accounts and NEVER mix
   A. Expense
   B. Savings



2. Upon receiving salary, deposit 20% to savings (ex: 50,000 salary=10,000 savings)
Note: If 2 people are working, make sure that EACH SPOUSE  deposits to the 2 accounts



3. Make Budget Expense Projection. Ideally constant from January-November.
December, by all means, go wild.

• Rent/Amortization- MUST NOT EXCEED 30% of Income
• Utilities
• Groceries
• Gas/Transpo
• Weekend Gimmicks
• Church Donations/Tithes/Charity 
• FAMILY OBLIGATION---- PLEASE INCLUDE IN MONTHLY EXPENSE                    
• (tip if you want you can open another account just for this. you can deposit even if they don't ask. Atleast when they do ask, and trust me, they will, you have something ready)

4. Set Aside a FUN FUND for the spouse not working/ Or a COMMON FUND if both are working


Example: 

Salary	50000
Savings	10000
Rent/Amortization	15000
Utilities	2,000
Groceries	7,000
Gas/Transpo	3,000
Weekends	4,000
Church/Donations	5,000
Family Obligation	2,000
Fun Fund	2,000

Comments:

1. Yes, you can have 2,000 pesos in utilities both elec and water, provided that you only have 2-3 hrs of aircon a night.

2. And yes 1,000 per weekend is possible. One Movie Night, 500 pesos and 1 Dinner for 2

3.  BEST TO LOWER RENT, ideally down to 20%


Now, I'm thinking...Imagine a 5 Pax HH with kids going to school and needing tuition and allowance.


So, are you ready to get married?

Still on Pause,

L

Day 104: Money in Marriage

Yesterday, S and I went to our second SATURDATES at CCF. One of our favorite couple, Edric and Joy Mendoza, talked about my favorite topic-FINANCES.

Edric is one of the anchors of ON THE MONEY, a show that aims to teach Filipinos how to better manage their finances.

In a country where money talk seems to be a cultural taboo, I believe this show is badly needed. I have seen too many friends who worked  abroad and were unable to save because they send all their money back home. They invested in their siblings and relatives in the hopes that in the future their generosity will be rewarded.

Unfortunately, people are risky investments. 

Last night my friend, Eleanor, told my mom that her inlaws are treating her badly because they felt that she took away their "breadwinner". She kept quiet for a long time but when she had a baby, it was as if her maternal instinct took over and she became braver.

Money is one of the sources of conflict between couples. Most couples are uncomfortable discussing it during the dating stage. Given issues such as the one experienced by Eleanor, Edric encouraged us to discuss the ff questions: