To My Wife

Dear Wife,

I'm writing this entry while you are out jogging. I will sneakily post this on your blog. 

While I was alone at home this evening, I decided to watch our baby's 4D ultrasound video on the tv. I know I've seen it countless of times on my phone since we got it but it's different seeing it on the big screen. You have got to Chromecast it one of these days. 

I'm amazed at what we created. And I found myself getting teary-eyed. Seeing it yawn, wiggle and play with its toes was sheer joy. 

I wish to say thank you. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for choosing me to take on this journey with you. I know it wasn't easy. The first few months were filled with doubt and fears. A lot of sleepless nights praying for God's will. But here we are. Just a few months shy of seeing our bundle of joy for the first time. 

During our quiet nights in bed together, we've shared about our excitements and fears of becoming parents; the thrill of seeing and holding our baby for the first time, and worry of the time when it grows up and decides to go out till the wee hours of the morning with its friends. I guess that's what it means to be parents. 

A song comes to mind, one that I've heard of a few years back but only now do the lyrics make sense. 

       

http://youtu.be/mqdBOumKTcY

If I could, I'd protect you
From the sadness in your eyes
Give you courage in a world of compromise
Yes, I would

If I could, I would teach you
All the things I've never learned
And I'd help you cross the bridges that I've burned
Yes, I would

If I could, I would try to shield
Your innocence from time
But a part of life I gave you isn't mine
I've watched you grow, so I could let you go

If I could, I would help you
Make it through the hungry years
But I know that I can never cry your tears
But I would, if I could

If I live in a time and place where you don't want to be
You don't have to walk along this road with me
My yesterday won't have to be your way

If I knew, I would try to change
The world I brought to you to
And there isn't very much that I, I could do
But I would, if I could

Oh baby, mummy wants to protect you
And help my baby through the hungry years
It's part of

And if you ever, ever need
Sad shoulder to cry on
I'm just someone to talk to
I'll be there, I'll be there

I didn't change your world
But I would, if I could

Oh darling, I love you baby

You know, my greatest fear is to not be able to be there for you and our child. I worry that I won't be able to protect both of you from the world. I worry that I am may not be providing enough or do what is right and expected of as the head of the family. All these fears have been magnified 100 times now that we will be parents. 

But with all these fears, I take comfort in the fact that I have God beside me. I know He will not let me down. And of course, I know that I have you beside me; to pick me up when I falter, and to help me teach our child to be the best that it can be. I know that we will give it the greatest love that the world has known. 

Our little family is growing. Soon, there will be three of us. And I can't wait t have both of you around my arms. 

This Valentine's Day, I have no flowers (maybe...), no card, no gift. What I have are these words that I have written here for the world to see. 

Thank you for giving me your heart and soul. I am forever grateful. 

I love you. I will forever love you. 

Happy Heart's Day.