I have seen and experienced too much in this life.
Just to name a few:
1. My boss and friend of 4 years, suddenly died. He was 35.
2. My ex broke up with me, 5 months before our wedding. Everything was booked and "Save the Dates" had been sent out.
3. My dad had a mild stroke in 2007
4. My uncle had aneurism and I saw my cousin trying to revive him
5. Someone from church, caught myocarditis, went into coma and died a week before her wedding
6. Another friend got cancer when he was 31.
7. My infertility issue
The good thing is I have seen that everything ended well for all 7 things I listed. I am a walking testimony of this verse:
" For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Most of time though, I'm surrounded with people with "lighter" life experiences. I don't blame them. Truth be told, I consider them lucky. But, the more I'm surrounded with shallow people with shallow concerns, the more I wonder if I'm crazy.
So, I was feeling empty and confused. I told my dad about this and he told me to read ECCLESIASTES. And I tell you, it really made me feel better.
Allow me to share the meaningful verses in that book. The headlines are my key take-outs.
1. Everything in life is Meaningless!
says the Teacher.
Everything is meaningless.
2. Whatever I am going through is not unique.
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there anything of which one can say, “Look! This is something new”?
It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time.
3. Work is meaningless and yet, I spend so much time stressing over it.
For what does a man get in all his labor and in his striving with which he labors under the sun? Because all his days his task is painful and grievous; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless.
4. We all share a common destiny- Death
All share a common destiny—the righteous and the wicked, the good and the bad, the clean and the unclean, those who offer sacrifices and those who do not.
As it is with the good,
so with the sinful;
as it is with those who take oaths,
so with those who are afraid to take them.
This is the evil in everything that happens under the sun: The same destiny overtakes all.
5. My purpose in life is to enjoy it.
Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do.
Always be clothed in white, and always anoint your head with oil. Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days.
For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.
Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.
I have seen something else under the sun.
And so, I realize that there is one ending for us all...Death. We are all moving towards it, with each birthday and with each milestone in life, we are all closer to that destiny.
Nothing will stop this journey. There are many uncertainties in life but this is not one of them.
As such, everything that happens while I live- is a mere distraction. The joys, pains and other concerns are meant to make my otherwise meaningless life here on earth, more interesting.
I shouldn't be too consumed because really there is no point.
Easier said than done, di ba?
I am working on myself to enjoy every moment I have. It's such a hard thing to do. It doesn't come naturally for me. While most people worry about today, my mind jumps atleast 5-10 years ahead.
In my corporate job, this was a valued skill. It's called foresight.
In real life, it becomes paranoia.
So, now I am trying to steer my life towards a more short term goals. The future is always so daunting. I realize I get too overwhelmed when I think of the future. The book of Ecclesiastes reminded me to just take it easy.
You should find the time to read it. It's actually quite a very good literature. Thomas Wolfe said: "Ecclesiastes is the greatest single piece of writing I have ever known, and the wisdom expressed in it the most lasting and profound."