Wednesday, 2 July 2014

Day 135: What Would You Change?

Ever since I closed my livejournal and moved to blogger, I started reading beautifully written and multi-faceted blogs.

One of the blogs I religiously read is S met the author, Patty, together with the other SOMOMS when he shared his then new brand with them over lunch. He told me that Patty is a mom, a former corporate warrior like me and  breast cancer survivor, who radiates an aura of optimism.

Now, I've never met Patty but judging from her blog, S gave a pretty accurate description.

A couple of days ago, she posted WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE? and it got me thinking...

If there was something about you, a quality which you don’t really admire in yourself … what would it be? What would you change

My first answer is definitely my Temper.

I used to have a really bad temper when I was still working. I was very perky and bubbly at work and I bottled up all my frustrations and disappointments. The moment I got into the car and I let my guard down, a small push in the wrong direction could  really set me off.

When I panicked, I used to react by getting mad and by blaming S.

Once I have calmed down, I would apologize but I felt really bad for losing it to begin with.

As a type A person, I am very organized and I get impatient and agitated  if things don't go as planned.

To a large extent, S is also like me but he handles pressure so much better.  Maybe it's true that men can compartmentalized issues better than women.

Without the stress from work, S noticed that I am more relaxed and more patient with him and with the things around me.

Yoga helped a lot too. Breathing the right way actually clears my head. S jokes that my head is now empty! Yoga also forced me to be patient with myself because it's really frustrating that I can't reach my own toes. If I'm not patient with myself, I will surely walk out of the class!

Avoiding the news also helped...hahaha! Everytime I see Bong and Jinggoy, I literally get chest pains.

I also started choosing who to talk to. I avoid loud and/or shallow people because they trigger my impatience.

I'm afraid though that while my patience levels have improved, it's still not to the levels that I want it to be.

I have very low tolerance for people with low self awareness. I don't like people who lack humility and people who say things they should keep to themselves.  They make me lose my center. I end up snapping (ie angry again) and saying things that I soon regret.

But I continue working on my patience still...

Lastly,  I started praying the right way again.  I kneel down, close my eyes and remember all my blessings for that day. Praying helped me rant less and appreciate more.

I'm so much happier now that I have simplified my life. I still miss my work, my income and the people in the office but life is all about choices.


Still on Pause,


1 comment:

  1. I already know what I should change and I'm still working on it. I'm not efficient when it comes to daily household chores and home maintainance. It's because I have this attitude of rushing off to bigger things in life and find that responsibility too boring.