Childhood Trauma and It's Impact on Marriage by Christine Foong Wong

I am aware and I am in tune with the state of my mental health. I'm very comfortable in admitting that I go to a psychiatrist and/or a psychologist when I encounter roadblocks in my life. For me going to my shrink, is just like going to my allergy doctor.

Ever since my parents attended a CEFAM workshop with Sister Harriet, they have been very open to involving professionals in resolving conflicts within the family and within ourselves.

So, I got married with no hidden emotional and mental baggage. 

I am able to talk about my past and my demons with honesty. I don't fear judgement because I am secure of the sources of my feelings. 

For instance, when I am angry I am able to explain the role of my past experiences in causing my outburst. When I have fears, I can discuss my feelings in details. I can also go to my parents and cry to them and I have an established support group. 

In short, I know how to deal with it.

However, marriage is a totally different animal. 

Retaliation

Last week, my husband said something so hurtful. Perhaps it is true that that I started it and pushed him to say that. However, we both agreed that what he said was really below the belt.

I have opted not to fight fire with fire. I decided to be very pleasant. I even cooked his favorite dish, adobo.

Talentadang Asawa

Yes po, marunong din po ako magtahi..

Maglinis. Maglaba. Magplancha. Magluto.

At...

Gumawa ng Marketing Plan.

Oh di ba, and swerte ng jowakels ko.

Ikaw?

Echosera,

L

Love Me Like You Do

Ellie Goulding's "Love Me Like You Do" is the soundtrack of the movie, 50 Shades of Gray.  I'm pretty sure you know the song and you have seen the movie.

Clearly, there are some people who like the way Christian expressed his love and desire towards Ana. I respect that preference.

For me, I do not appreciate being whacked and whipped and later showered with expensive gifts. I have promised myself that if my husband ever lays a hand on me, I will return the favor.  Whip me and I will punch your ears until you hear ringing sounds in your head. 

Thankfully, we are not into BDSM. We are more into Role Play, sadly with dismal plots. 

After a year of marriage, my husband still hasn't fully figured out how I wish to be loved. On our wedding anniversary, he gave me a diamond necklace.

In-Laws

I have come to the realization that my in-laws will never replace my family no matter how good they are to me and no matter how hard they try. It will always be different.

My family is not perfect. As a matter of fact, I will classify them under the "Crazy" quadrant.  My mom is a loud and funny probinsyana. My dad is a weirdo filled with wisdom.  My brother is a vain, confident and suplado chef.

However, they are my family...in neurosis and in sanity. Even if we scream at each other and we fight, we hug it out afterwards.

With my in-laws, there will always be an "Invisible Barrier" that will separate us. 

Paper-Inspired and Insight-Based First Wedding Anniversary Gift

For our first year anniversary, I gave my husband a gift related to PAPER.

The Letter

Dear S,

Paper is the symbol for the first year of marriage. Paper, as we both know, is very easy to tear and throw away. It has little or no value unless you put something on it. 

A bond paper is nothing. A bond paper with a love letter written on it means the world to whoever receives it. In time, this love letter becomes even more valuable.

It's the same with marriage. We really have to make an effort to make it colorful and interesting. Hopefully, after many many years together we can make a beautiful and valuable masterpiece.

I love you.

Sincerely,

L

The INSIGHT-BASED Gift

Initial Consume Reaction

S: Pinapagalitan mo naman ba ako? 

L:  Hay nako! Kulang ka talaga sa echoz!

The FREE Gift

Ofcourse, I still had another gift prepared. 

A swatch watch that has the face of a Patek Nautilus and the strap of a Calatrava. IMAGINATION PLEASE! Wala po akong pera for a Patek. Housewife lang po ako.

In a successful marketing campaign, even if you have a very strong insight and a beautifully executed TVC, you still need bundling to ensure your products move off the shelves. Kahit pang Cannes Awards level pa yang TV commercial mo, kailangan mo parin ang food keeper at delata! 

Post Consumer Reaction

S: These are the most thoughtful anniversary gifts. *hug*

L: Syempre may relo na kasama e... Napaka predictable mo.

Missing my marketing job,

L

p.s.> medyo maraming elements ang aming anniversary so I will write about each element separately. 

My Desk

I have a desk that I barely use. 

I fixed it a bit up today in hopes that it brings me some joy...

It did naman :)

Still in need of good vibes,

L

Low

I'm sorry for not writing anything substantial.

My spirits are once again low. There is no reason naman. I am in good health. I am just feeling the existence of a void... 

Needing some sunshine,

L

My favorite word

Beki-ing,

L

Empathy

My prayer today is...

I hope empathy can be bottled up and sold via Amazon. I will surely buy several bottles and give it to people.

(Photo from the internet)

Why is it so hard for people to emphatize? Why is it so hard for some people to know the right things to say to someone who is hurting, suffering, scared or even to someone who is happy?

Is it perhaps the lack of life experience?

Recently, a friend had a miscarriage...I don't really know how that must feel like. Here's what I said.

Rainy Days Are Here Again

Around the same time last year, I  walking home carrying a paper bag full of groceries when it suddenly rained very hard. My paper bag got wet and I dropped my delatas along Ayala. Leche! What a hassle!

I suggest you buy the neoprene bags by BUILT New York. They are made with the same material used in making wetsuits, so they are water resistant. 

Photo by www.shesteals.com

The BUILT bags are available in Rustans or you can shop for it online at MILK AND HONEY

Stay safe and dry!

Sniffling,

L

When I was 29...

When I was 29, I was promoted to be a Senior Brand Development Manager.
When I was 29, my work expanded to include a category in Australia
When I was 29, I went to Dubai, Sydney, Bordeaux and Durban.
When I was 29, my Pinoy boyfriend of 6 years dumped me...

I've been trying to find the time, the inspiration and the words to share my "epic break-up".

You see, my life has a pattern:
**flat**happy**PEAK**DEEP TRENCH**depression**recovery**happy**flat**

When I was 29, I experienced this complete pattern within the span of 12 months.

I think the beauty of life lies in the fact that it is never perfect. Sa mga laging #blessed sa bawat araw nalang na nilikha ng dyos, tigilan nyo yan ha.

I have come to understand that there will days that I will praise God for all His goodness and there  will be days that I will resent Him. That is why it is called a relationship. My relationship with God has its ups and downs.

When I was 29, my ex sent me an email to break up with me. Then he turned off his phone. And just like that, it was over. I couldn't beg in person because he was in another country that required a visa.

When I was 29, for the first time I knelt down and lifted all my pain, HUMILIATION and uncertainty to God.

Since then, I have learned that our God is a good God. He is kind and merciful. He knows what is best for me. He knows what is best for you too.

If you are thinking, "OA ha break up lang", please wait until I share the context.

I will soon. I promise.

Ikaw, what were you doing when you were 29?



Reminiscing,

L

Eating is a gift

Just a random thought...

Eating is crucial for us to live and survive. If you don't eat, you die.

Agree?

And have you noticed that God made this crucial need a pleasureable task?

It's not painful to eat di ba? Infact you look forward to it.

That's how good God is.

Happy Sunday,

Me Time

How often do you have "ME TIME"?

I think it's good to spend atleast an hour or two with yourself...to hear what the voices in your head are trying to say... Kahit once a week lang naman. Wag mong araw-arawin or mababaliw ka.

I usually spend my "ME TIME" having coffee and writing my dark or happy or sad thoughts.

Now, I'm in Bizu. The husband is somewhere talking with some people. 

 In fairness, I like this branch of Bizu in Podium.

 It's very girly. I wish I wore pink today. Perhaps, nag "tutu" dapat ako. And cguro dapat dinala ko na rin my pet unicorn.

The coffee in Bizu is also affordable ha! 85 php for a cup of Lavazza Americano. The macarons same price na sa Paris, 1 euro. So I will eat this one piece very very very slowly.

Ikaw where do you have your "Me time" ? And what do you usually do or think about?

Jusko ha, if yung "Me Time" mo sa CR, hay nako!!! Mag isip ka about your life ha!

Having a relatively good day,

L

A Quarter Of Our Lives

Do you realize that we spend nearly a quarter of our lives sleeping? Ideally we should have atleast 6-8 hours of sleep in a day.  Anything below 6 hours, I'm already feel as if my head is floating.

Because sleep is so important, I really invest in making my sleeping space very comfortable. I may not be able to control my dreams but my comfort is in my own hands.

The perfect aircon temperature for me is 23'C. We only turn on our aircon for 3 hours every night. #barat.

We have an orthopedic mattress. It's not tempur but it's amazing.

My preferred sleeping aids are Melatonin, Sleepasil and ZZZquil.

For very personal reasons, my favorite bed sheets are by DWELLSTUDIO.

DwellStudio is a New York-based brand  famous for its bold, colorful and chinoiserie-esque prints.  The sheets are manufactured in Portugal, India and Peru and are made with the finest cotton.

What I love about their sheets is, when I turn the air-conditioning on, the sheets absorb and keep the coolness. So even after we turn the aircon off, it's still quite cold for a good 3-4 hours more.

DwellStudio is available in Rustans and select interior boutiques. You can also buy the sheets and duvets online at DwellStudio Philippines.The website is owned by the official distributor. It's exactly the same price as the stores here in Manila.

Now, if anyone here knows where I can buy a pill that can guarantee good dreams, please let me know.


Sleepy,

L

It's Like Trying to Sleep

It's like trying to sleep because you have work the next day.

The more you check the clock to see how much time you have left, the more you can't sleep.

The more people come in to check up and ask you if you are asleep, the more you can't sleep.

Quite frankly, the best way to sleep during a bad insomnia attack is to just let go. Then tell yourself, " It  really doesn't matter if I sleep or not. I'll just enjoy my bed. "

That has always worked for me. I have had insomnia since I was in highschool.

Speaking in metaphors,

L

Buang

On my way to Urban Ashram, I saw a crazy woman (buang) along Ayala.

She was grinning ear to ear as she was talking to the plants.

I had to take the photo from a far. The last time my friend had a close encounter with a buang, the buang threw rotten fruits at her.

Anyway, I thought to myself... This lady is so lucky. She is happy. She has no worries. Nature altered her perspective so that she can cope with her circumstance. In her altered sense of reality, she is the best, the prettiest and life is just perfect! 

Because of my high self-awareness and my grasp of the universe around me, I have a higher propensity to be sad. Because the reality is, life is hard! Ofcourse, I try to snap out of it. 

King Solomon nailed it when he said...

"For with much wisdom comes more sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief" 

Honestly, I wish my brain stops working. It is tiring.

Lucid,

L

ECHOZ PLATING: The Impact of Plating

I like nice things. I like nice restaurants. I love good food.

But It doesn't mean I have to spend a fortune to enjoy my vices.

You can do wonders with ECHOZ PLATING.

Get a big white plate. It will take you a long long way.

The meal in the pic only costs 40 pesos :) Hotdog, Saba and Egg.  Di ba!

Echoz Living is posh living without the posh budget!

Echozing,

L