Monday, 4 May 2015

What is your defense mechanism

Here's mine...

And this is one of the sources of conflict between me and my husband.

 When a problem arises, I wish to solve it as quickly as possible and forget about it. 

I want to forget by dreaming and talking about what will come next. I want to describe the plan in so much detail to the point where I get excited and ultimately, forget what went wrong to begin with. 

My husband, on the other hand, wants to feel bad, solve and grow from a problem. 

Herein lies the fundamental difference between us.

So imagine this pattern...

- Husband causes a problem
- He feels bad
- I solve the problem
- He feels even worst that he had to put me in a situation wherein I was forced to deal with a crisis.
- I get upset that the problem is over and yet he is not talking about new and better things to come.
- He attempts to speak my "fantasy" language
- However, my imagination has left the building.

Or this...

- It's my birthday and husband surprises me
- I hate the surprises
- I like the process of planning for a birthday more than the party (or the gift) itself. 
- I like talking about the details. It is as if each detail tickles my brain the more we discuss it.

This "escape to fantasy" is also reflected in my choice of literature. 

How about you..what is your defense mechanism. TAKE THIS QUIZ!



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