Starbucks Tipid Tips

Nowadays when I go to Starbux with my husband and the yaya, I order a Venti and split it among the 3 of us.

This is cheaper than ordering short for 3 people.

Everybody happy!

L

Yaya with Baby

A couple of nights ago, I saw the yaya watching a video of her 11 month old son on the iPhone we lent her.  She was watching him while she was making baptismal candles for my daughter.

I felt really sad.

Here is a mom who also has a baby but she is here with us to take care of ours.

Last week the parcels of clothes my husband ordered from the US arrived one by one. He got G a total of 20 dresses from Baby Gap and Carters

So, when we went to Mothercare. I got the yaya a new pair of shoes for her son.

Since next week happens to be her son's birthday, I asked my husband if we can give him clothes too. He got him 2 crisp polo. The yaya was very happy.

My husband said I talk to the yaya and the maids  more than I talk to some of our relatives. 

I said, as a mom, I really emphatize. Aside from that, I have lived away from home for 14 years later. I know how it feels to not have your family around.

I know it's hard to be away from home especially if you have a baby. 

The least I can do is to make life easier. 

When we eat dinner, we eat together. When I order Starbux, I order a Venti and share it with her. 

Perhaps, I am not used to having a maid but I feel guilty enjoying stuff when the person beside me isn't. 

I'm pretty sure if she decides to leave someday, I'll truly feel bad. I hope we can get a big house so that her son can live with us too. 

Truth be told, when 2 of the maids of my in-laws left, I felt quite sad. 

When I was growing up, our maid's 2 kids lived with us. We all lived together, ate in the same table, celebrated holidays from the time we were 8 until they graduated college.

But that's not a normal set-up here in Manila, I think...

L

How are you?

Have you ever noticed that there are some people in your life that when they text you, "How are you?", you immediately think..."May kailangan kaya to?".

I believe that when your friends and family habitually checks up on and ask about how you are, they somehow care about you.

Perhaps that's naive of me to think of it that way.

But when you come to think of it...that simple question requires a big investment in terms of time and emotion.

The receiver can simply say, "I'm okay" or she can go into a litany of things that trouble her.  Are you prepared to listen?

Somehow, I feel there are ever so few people in our lives who are actually prepared to listen. 

Listening is really hard especially if the topic is not to your liking. Which is why I created this journal, so that I can vent.

It's sad that I have to censor myself  nowadays. This is the only space I can freely express myself.

L

It's Hunting Season

Headhunter are calling me again. I think July is a hiring month.

Perhaps people received bad mid year reviews and are already planning to quit before getting sacked by the end of the year,

I'm seriously considering getting back into the grind.

Every time my husband gets mad at me, he reminds me that this his house and that he pays the bills. Occasionally, he tells me to leave. 

Now that we are back in Makati, I just smile when he kicks me out of the house because my condo is just 15 mins away. But when we were in New Manila, I felt so helpless kapag pinapalayas nya ako.

Ofcourse, I never actually leave, I exclusively breastfeed so how will he feed the baby if my breast are 3 blocks away.

Oh the sh*t people when they are mad.

L

Change in Spending

Yesterday, I was looking for a dress that I'll be wearing for the baptism. My husband chose a white Anne Klein dress and it was around 7,000 php.

I could not bring myself to buy it...even if it's his  money. 

It's just too much for a dress! If I find a 3,000 pesos bouncer expensive, how can I buy a 7,000 pesos for a dress that I'll probably won't wear again. It's white...how often will I wear white?

And so, I went to Karimadon in Glorietta and bought a 1,500 pesos knee-length dress instead. 

With an extra money to spare, I went to Rustans and bought this support chair for 3,400 pesos for my baby.  

I wonder if I will still buy Louboutins now that I'm aware that a pair is equivalent to a downpayment for preschool tuition...

Parenthood changed me big time.

How did parenthood change you?

L

 

100 Days

To celebrate my baby's 100th day, I just made a simple dinner for me, my husband and the yaya.

It was so simple...I didn't even buy a cake. Instead, I just stacked leftover cupcakes and stuck a lollipop on top. Clever di ba!

I prepared 2 red eggs as it is customary. Red eggs are for good luck and for new beginnings.

Then, I offered a prayer of thanks for the 100 days filled with happiness, love, tears, fears. You name it, I felt it.

As I was thanking God, my baby decided to poop. I was holding her and I felt her poop come out. She pooped so much, some of it spilled on my hands.

Hay Nako.

You know, I learned that I should celebrate her every chance I get.

 I usually worry about the future so much and with motherhood, this mindset got even worse. But my baby encourages me to take a chill pill and just enjoy the present. When I worry, she smiles or do crazy stuff like crapping on my hands.

She's so funny. She makes me feel better.

Grateful,

L

Writer's Block

I'm so sorry I haven't been writing in ages. 

My motherhood is baptism by fire. 

I am unprepared for the emotions and the challenges that came with it.

Currently, I have bouts of post partum depression, which is either caused or compounded by OCD. I won't get into that.

I worry about my baby endlessly but when she smiles...I forget my worries. 

My husband also told me that some of his family read my blog and got hurt. Truth be told, I don't know why they would read it when told me not to google stuff and worry myself silly. 

So, I decided to stop writing for a while just to avoid trouble.

If you miss me, you can always message me and I will try my best to reply.

For now, I realize that the future is so uncertain and I really have to enjoy each day with my baby. The greatest lesson, motherhood has taught me is to just be thankful for each day that my child is healthy and happy. I should stop worrying about things. So for now, avoid the news and avoid anything that will cause paranoia.

Hanging on to my sanity,

L