Saturday, 6 June 2015

Life's Imaginary Checklist

I feel there is an invisible checklist...

While not explicitly written in any books, the questions people ask validate my theory of the existence of this invisible checklist.

I've always been a straight arrow/ good daughter/decent person.  Because I have a type A personality,  I generally do what is expected of me. 

But as I grow older, I feel that society expects more from me.  It never gets easy...

It's all In my head. Or is it?

1. First Smile 
2. Learn how to talk
3. Learn how to walk
4. Go to school
5. Do well in school 
6. Graduate 
7. Get a job
8. Be successful 
9. Have a boyfriend
10. Travel
11. Be rich/ have enough money to support the people you love.
12. Get engaged
13. Buy a house/car 
14. Get married
15. Get pregnant
17. Have more kids
18. Make sure kids do well in school
19. Stay (happily)married
20. Stay attractive
21. Make sure kids are successful
22. Stay healthy 
23. Marry kids off
24.Have grandkids
25.Live as long as you can

I feel this immense internal pressure to conform and check all the items in the list, just as I have been doing all my life.

But I'm starting to get tired...

I think I will avoid society and it's imaginary checklist for now...

Going down the rabbit hole,



  1. One thing I learned is, you cannot make everyone happy. So, just make yourself happy. If you're not happy then how can you make others happy, diba? Stop conforming, stop thinking of conforming - maloloka ka lang. Live your life as you please, just don't step on people. Yan lang motto ko. Enjoy what you have, love what you have. I know there is pressure but don't give in - if you do, then be prepared of this *sacrifice*

    1. The sad thing kasi for people w ocd is...there is an obsession which triggers impulsive behavior and failure to feed/continue an obsession leads to depression.
      It's like obsessing about cleanliness and the actions are repeated bathing. Then imagine, losing a water and bathing becomes impossible to do. This leads to agitation, frustration and eventually depression.
      The behavioral cure for people w OCD is not acceptance but rather a shift in obsession...or medication.
      My obsession, amongst mainy things, is to follow set of rules. The only way out is to create another set of rules to obsess on.