I told my husband.. " I am so sad and depressed that I can't seem to have a baby."
In life, I'm so used to getting anything that I want. It's just a matter of hard work and perseverance. But baby-making seems to be the opposite.
After 5 months of trying, I am already feeling so defeated. I have been reading about infertility and the more I read, the more hopeless I feel. Some couple try for more than 3 years..some til 15!
I had myself checked and so far the initial tests show, I seem fine. My husband seems fine. If I want to do more tests, the more indepth tests are physically intrusive and I feel more violated.
At this point, I'm not even sure why I'm stressing over this.
Maybe because I am 33 this year...
I don't even know if I want a baby. I just know that I am suppose to have one.
I have been hiding in the house for a few days now and I've been refusing to go out.
I've always been the best. I've always been an achiever and this is one thing I seem to be failing at.
My husband said...
"Look, if it's just us then it's okay. I love you and I just want you to be happy. I didn't marry you for your uterus. If it comes, it's a blessing. If not, we are already blessed.
We are fine, just you and me. "
Hopefully, I'm climb up out of this rabbit hole...