After watching your TV commercial, do you want your audience to..
- Buy your product versus competitor
- Buy more of your product (from small pack to big pack)
- Try the new product /variant
- Find a new usage for an existing product
...and many more.
There are many TV commercials, print ads, billboards that does nothing more but bring awareness. That's it. They spent millions for something that will not really lead to action/purchase.
As an individual, I always keep in mind this principle of "Desired Response".
If I have a problem, I think twice before I share it with others because I always ask myself..."What response do I want to hear from them?" As I result, I usually share some problems with people who I know are credible enough to give me advice or assurances. I don't go around sharing my woes to everyone.
If I plan to comment, I also think twice before I say anything. "Will this comment be well received by the person?" , "Will this comment improve the quality of my life?" Depending on my answer, I will package my words to get my desired response.
In short...I am always calculating when it comes to my words. I think about my desired response, my target audience and my key point before I say anything.
While this is a very good thing, I occasionally use this insightfulness to hurt.
If my desired response is to break ones spirit or to rip apart ones soul, I always find the perfect words to scar someone for life.
The best thing I do however is to keep silent. With silence and distance, the desired response is almost too confusing. How can you hate someone who is silent? How can you hate someone who doesn't do anything bad nor good?
Last night I asked my husband, "Many moons ago, when you told your friend what I told you about her husband what was your desired response from her? How did you want her to react to what I told you in confidence? Did you want her to get mad at me? If she got mad at me, would who have left me?"
He said, "Honestly, I wasn't thinking. I just blurted it out of anger."
There in lies that problem with most people. When people get too emotional, they say things without thinking of the outcome.
Like when some women complain about their boyfriends or husbands. They make their partners look bad and yet they are unwilling to leave them.
To the person listening to them, they will appear weak. How can you choose to stay with someone who cheats and hurts you?
In short, if you don't plan to take any action except to rant, best to keep quiet because what you say can reflect badly on you.
That being said...I hope the next time you talk, you think twice or thrice about your desired response. Then you choose your audience and then weave your words in such a way that you can get the response you are aiming for.
Remember what you say, helps people form their opinion of you.
Xoxo,
L
"Like when some women complain about their boyfriends or husbands. They make their partners look bad and yet they are unwilling to leave them."
ReplyDeleteHi Ms. L. This is so true. Meron kasi akong friend na sobrang hirap na siya sa situation niya with her live-in partner. Gusto na raw niya mag give up pero ayun, until now nakikisama pa rin siya. Ang dami niyang sinsabi na bad attitudes ni guy pero hindi niya pa rin maiwan. Kasi raw po hindi niya kaya. Ilang advice na rin ang nabigay ko sa kanya pero siyempre, nasa tao pa rin kung susundin ang advice natin or sarili pa rin nila. Kaya parang napagod na lang ako magbigay ng opinion ko. Pero andtio pa rin ako para makinig sa kanya. Magkaibigan kami halos buong buhay na yata namin Ms. L. :)
-Cheapangga Fan
Atleast she is honest enough to admit na di Nya Kaya. But I'm sure nakakapagod pakinggan
DeleteYes Ms. L. Pero kapag kaibigan laging andito tayo para at least makinig sa kanila. Hindi lang kasi talaga ako yung type ng kaibigan na yung gusto niya lang marinig ang sasabihin ko. Kaya nga kaibigan, kahit alam mong masasaktan siya, pagsasabihan mo siya. :)
ReplyDelete-Cheapangga Fan
As my newest SIL says - if you can't be kind, be quiet!
ReplyDeletePero ako, I think before I say anything. Si alam mo na, bara lang - ang desired response, ihurt ka.
I think ung babaeng un, is actually not thinking of desired response.yun yung masaklap
Delete