A couple of years ago, I bumped into a good friend when I was in our HR building. We worked together in Singapore for quite sometime.
He said, "Friend! Nako wish me luck! I'm finally coming out to mama and papa."
That came quite as a surprise to me because he was almost 34 years old at that time and he has been living with his partner in Singapore for close to 3 years na! Infact, I was even planning to rent a room in their HDB flat.
Didn't his parents notice that he is gay? As in no clue ever?
My gut tells me that his parents knew all along but they were just in denial and they refuse to acknowledge it.
There are those who are brave enough naman to come out to their parents early. Some 20s palang.
The initial reaction of most moms is to cry. Dads usually keep mum.
The next is to ask, "Are you sure? Maybe it's just a phase."
Then parents go through denial by asking their gays sons or daughters to "meet" someone over for coffee...
In short, Kai-shao. Hehe...
I wonder if parents genuinely understand that being gay is not a matter of choice. A lesbian will not turn straight if she meets a handsome and caring man.
But, I do know of a lesbian Fil-Chi girl who got married to make her parents happy. Now, she is processing her annulment. Hassle! Annulments can take years! Kawawa naman asawa nya.
If it's hard for a Filipino-Chinese to be in a relationship with a Filipino...imagine how hard it is for gays to come out to their Fil-Chi family and relatives.
More often than not, even if you do come out to your parents, the family will keep quiet about it. Chances are you wont really get to discuss your relationship very openly with your parents.
I wonder if parents feel that if they don't talk about it...it will just go away.
My message to parents: IT WONT GO AWAY. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING GAY.
Thankfully there are families who are minded and who accept their children for who they are and welcome their partners into the family.
My friend is one of the lucky few. His parents didn't go hysterical. Perhaps, they were just waiting for him to come out.
Fast forward to today. He just posted in Instagram a picture of him and his partner having breakfast with his mom.
Anymore FIL-CHI LGBT stories out there?