A Short Story About My Parents

This is how mama usually serves mangoes at home...

Always with a flair. 

I grew up in a home where mama and papa did small things with great love. Don't get me wrong, they were both tiger parents, who both believed in "STRIKE THE IRON WHILE IT'S HOT"

They made sure we had memorable Christmases, New Years, Birthdays, you name it. Even PBA GAMES were festive. Somehow, they always made sure they appreciated us through celebrations,actions and words.

Mama never missed a school event, much to my dismay. I would usually not invite her because I don't want her to see me lose in a competion. I preferred bringing home a medal. I never lost a competition,  so all went well!  

I dreaded her meeting my teachers. I was scared of the things that they will report. They usually had something bad to say because I usually did something bad in school.

Papa would go to my school every Valentine's Day to bring me flowers and chocolates. Even as a kid, he made me feel special and loved. 

Even if they were rather primitive/ barbaric in their discipline methods, they gave credit where credit was due.

 I was reprimanded when I did something wrong and I was acknowledged when I did something good. My medals were framed and displayed. And yes, so were the belt marks. If I did something wrong, I also had something to show off.

I grew up without much luxuries in life. But I never once felt deprived. When it came to toys and gadgets, if I wanted something , mama said I should save up and use my own money. In the grocery store, mama never said no.

Papa made sure we stayed in nice hotels when we went on vacation. He believed that we should experience the good things in life once in a while. In Iloilo though, we rode tricycles and jeeps  to go to school. We don't have drivers and cars.  We had to work in our store every weekend.

I started working and earning when I was 9 years old. That made me feel very capable and that everything was possible with hard work. I could buy anything as long as I worked for it. I felt very independent.

My parents were not very traditional in their parenting style. For instance, they allowed us to express ourselves by taking us to counselors. They acknowledged that parent-child communication has barriers so it was necessary to have third party mediation. It was very big and humble of them to acknowledge this fact. It made me feel HEARD and that my opinions mattered.

They didn't really encourage me to be the best in school. They wanted me to be a good person. That was really hard work. I failed...at being a good person but I succeeded at being the best in school.

I grew up in a home where my worth was validated. For sure, it was challenged but it was constantly  validated. I suppose that is why I have little need for attention and acknowledgement. I seem to be very comfortable with myself and with what I can do. Sometimes I think...I'm too comfortable that it comes across as I don't care what other's think of me.

When I am asked to improve by learning Chinese, the whole idea doesn't appeal to me at all!  I don't feel the need to learn Chinese to impress other people.  I also don't like to feign being nice and friendly just to be liked. As a matter of fact, I have no need to impress and to be liked.

I learn things because I want to. And if I want to learn it, I learn fast. I am friendly to people because I geniunely like them, never because I have to.

I grew up in a home where my parents made me feel loved and appreciated. They made me feel that regardless of how weird I am, I belonged in that family. 

And because of that, I have little need to belong elsewhere.

Missing Home,

L