My husband can no longer recall the details of our ting hun or the 20 other ting hun ceremonies he claims to have attended. He has been asking me lots of questions because he can't answer the questions of his sister.
I figured that it's best to write down my answers and share with other Filipino- Chinese couples, who are oh-so-lucky to have found the love of their lives. CHAROT
Here you go. The STEP BY STEP GUIDE TO A TING HUN CEREMONY.
1. The family of the bride must be the first to arrive at the venue. They must treat the venue as their home and welcome the guests.
2. The mother of the groom enters the venue. She brings with her the jewelries. Some of the groom's relatives assist in bringing other jewelries and other gifts.
3. The mother of the bride MUST assist the mother of the groom in arranging the jewelries on the table.
Note: Please try to limit the number of people handling the jewelries. Ideally it should only be the moms.
4. The female relatives of the bride serve as ushers and assist the guests to their seats.
5. The ushers seat 6-10 representatives from each family (inclusive of the the parents).
Note: Their zodiac must not clash with either the bride or the groom.
6. The bride's female relatives serve orange/red juice or soda and candies/cookies to the family representatives...then to the other guests.
7. Once everyone has been seated, the groom enters the room with 2 bouquets of flowers.
8. Two of the grooms relatives/friends carrying the Sin Ha enters the room.
Note: No Sin Ha is okay.
Note: No Sin Ha is okay.
9. The groom turns his back away from the guests and waits.
10. The bride enters the room backwards, assisted by a chosen "Lucky Lady".
A "Lucky Lady" is a lady who is living a good life. A good life according to Chinese people means:
married, lots of kids, healthy and ideally, wealthy.
married, lots of kids, healthy and ideally, wealthy.
Note: Please tell your "Lucky Lady" to dress nicely! I saw one video where the outfit of the Lucky Lady was so casual! It totally cheapened the event!
Bawal ang chararat!"
11. The " Lucky Lady" assists both couple so that they stand back to back against each other.
12. The "Lucky Lady" then assists them to face each other.
Note: The "Lucky Lady" can also ask them to turn around 3 times.
Whatever floats your boat. Personally, I think 3 is not a good number.
13. Bride and groom face each other. They turn around to face the guests.
Note: Crying, optional, it adds a very sincere touch. Charr
Note: Crying, optional, it adds a very sincere touch. Charr
14. GUESTS PLEASE CLAP!!!!
15. The bride and groom go to the back of the table.
16. The groom puts the corsage on the bride.
17. The bride puts the buttonier on the groom.
18. The mother of the groom puts the bangles on the right wrist of the bride.
19. The father of the groom puts the medallion on the bride.
20. The eldest representative from the side of the groom puts the watch on the left wrist of the bride.
21. The mother of the bride puts the watch on the left wrist of the groom.
22. The father of the bride puts the medallion on the groom.
23. The couple puts the ring on each other.
Yay! And they are officially bound!
24. The bride serves tea to the representatives of the groom's family.
The groom carries the tray and introduces the brides to the representatives.
25. The groom does the same.
26. PHOTO TAKING
- immediate family of the groom
- extended family of the groom
- immediate family of the bride
- extended family of the bride
- friends
27. The bride and groom sits with their immediate family to eat the misua soup.
Note: eat both the eggs or eat half of each egg or just leave both eggs uneaten.
28. The rest of the guests eat.
29. While the guests eat, the photographer will take the pictures of the couple.
30. The groom and another male will take the 2 cakes around the hotel.
Note: they can go into a car and drive around the hotel or they can just carry it by hand around the lobby. Funny? This signifies a whole and happy life.
31. Once everyone is done eating, the female relatives of the bride distribute the flowers to all the single ladies in the room.
32. The gift baskets are given out by the relatives of the bride.
33. The event is over. The couple stand outside the venue together with their parents to thank the guests for coming.
Hay, while doing this, I realize I should have facilitated my own ting hun!
Kiong Hee,
L
Hi! I enjoyed reading your posts so much. :) Anyway may I ask if it was awkward (ung both families kasi andun) nung tinghun nyo? :) and you also said na tsutsiya ka (how many percent?) so did you have any problems with that too, with your husband being lannang? I am tsutsiya too (i'm 75% chinese and the 25% is a mix of filipino and japanese blood) and my howe is lannang. His mom ayaw sakin nung una, saying she wants a lannang for her son, pero ayun eventually she accepted me naman; eventually her eldest son naman nagkaroon ng huana na gf and til now di nya tanggap! I am baffled hahah
ReplyDeletePure Chinese is called jia lannang.
DeleteOur families know each other. I was already friends with his cousins. So it was not awkward. I am tsutsiya but my family is part of the Chinese circle. My father was president of the family association. I am tsutsiya because both my grandfather came from china, arrived in the Philippines and married huana wives. So typical naman. Not an issue.
The issue is I can't speak fookien even if my family can. Ako Lang Hindi marunong at walang gana.
Nasanay ako sa lannang para short cut na.
ReplyDeleteNasanay ako sa lannang para short cut na. Hahaha. Anyway My fookien skills are barok as well, I could understand but i am afraid to speak it because baka magkamali ako ng diin.
I did not grow up with my pure chinese dad coz he has another family. My half Chinese mom just taught me the basics (like the curse words and nega words and others) but she was Cantonese-Fujianese. Sabi nya mahihirapan ako pag di ako marunong. Aba totoo nga ang sinabi nya.
My future MIL told me I have to learn how to speak better Fookien for better communication. She's also kind of 'ashamed' her son is marrying a tsutsiya, maski ba 75% na nga ako. Shes very racist! Mas kawawa yung huana na howe ng isa nya pang anak. Pero maalaga sya sa akin. It's so hard!!!
Theres a fookien class at CKSC though!!! Hehe.. anyway I always read you blog entries, even bookmarked this one!!!! :) hope we could be friends! :)
In chinese families, it's rarely about the % of blood. It's more of the name and the reputation of your family that matters above anything else.
Delete